I need to come up with something way more creative than “A Day in the Life.” I’m usually good at titles. I blame sleep deprivation and a lack of wine intake.
Friday, September 22
Jesse was wide awake at 5:30, so I brought him downstairs, ate a couple of granola bars, had a cup of coffee and then once I got Jesse back down to sleep, I hopped onto the treadmill and ran an easy 7 miles. The kids don’t have school today so I figured I should get my run over with before everyone woke up. I was 4 miles in when Callum came into the garage, so I gave him Katie’s old iPod, made him some breakfast and poured him some juice and set him up on the couch. I was able to finish my run by 8:15, have a shower, make myself a decent cup of coffee and type this out and it’s only 8:40! I can hear Katie up right now, but Freddy will stay sleeping until much later.
I emptied the dishwasher, threw a load of laundry into the wash, and got Jesse’s diaper bag filled and put the stroller into the van. I have to take Jesse to the doctor later today to get his jaundice checked out and Jake has an appointment nearby (both offices are in Fort Langley) so I have to make sure we are all prepared and stocked up.
The day ended up taking a nosedive. We dropped Freddy off at his friend’s house on our way to the doctor and then when it was time for the appointment, Jake and Katie walked into town to grab some coffees and snacks. Jesse is still a bit jaundice which is not normal for being nearly 4 weeks old, so the doctor wrote up a rec for blood work. He’s gaining weight like a champ, so we just need to rule out any sort of underlying red blood disorder. It’s probably nothing, but I will obsess about it until we find out the results.
My mom met us there to give Jake his birthday card, and then I dropped Katie off at Jason’s work (everyone is nearby in Langley), grabbed some lunch with Jake and Callum and Jesse, picked Katie back up, and then hit the park near the doctor’s office where Jake’s appointment was at. His appointment was at 3, so with it being 2:30, we had half an hour for Katie and Callum to play at the park and me to feed Jesse. Well, when it was time to go in, Callum had climbed into the van and pressed a bunch of buttons and ended up setting the alarm on the van which would be no big deal except my fob has been missing a battery since forever so when Katie opened the doors from the inside, the horn alarm started going off and it wouldn’t stop. The doctor office shares a parking lot with a preschool and so there were massive amounts of moms and preschoolers coming and going, staring and covering their ears while my van went off, while Callum wailed, and while I scrambled around trying to figure out what to do.
Then a guy strolled up to the van and told me he’s a mechanic and asked me if I wanted help. Yes, I did want help. He took the fuse out of the something or other which made the horn stop but then my van was stuck in park. So he put the fuse back in, I started the van, it started honking, I put it into drive and then he took the fuse out and told me to drive straight home. So we had to get Jake out of his appointment (THAT WE HAVE WAITED FOREVER FOR), drive the 45 minute drive back to Abbotsford in Friday afternoon rush-hour traffic ON NO GAS. If Jesse started to cry, I wouldn’t be able to stop because I wouldn’t be able to put the van into park and take it back out again.
I cried, and I cried hard. I cried when the van was honking, I cried when the mechanic kid came to help me, I cried when I got Jake out of his appointment, I cried while I drove all the way to Honda, I cried in their service office, I cried when they fixed it for me, I cried when we were stuck in traffic again, when I had to pull over to feed Jesse, when I saw his diaper was full and I ran out of wipes, when I realized I forgot to pick up Freddy, when I came to terms with the fact that Katie would miss dance, when I called Andrew and found out he had been at home with his kids all day and could have taken Callum, I cried harder and harder and harder and I couldn’t stop.
I’m the type of person that gets great satisfaction from getting myself out of difficult situations. In fact I find it so rewarding that I often make a situation chaotic on purpose just for the thrill of figuring out how to fix it. This was not one of those times. At one point when the horn was honking and my littles were crying, I held my face in my hands and wailed, “I GIVE UP!!!! I GIVE UP I GIVE UP I GIVE UP!!!” while Katie bit her own lip in an effort to stay strong, bless her heart.
I’m tired as fuck. And when I get tired, I get irrational. Add some postpartum hormones to the mix and things get pretty ugly. It’s one thing to be tired for a couple of days and another thing entirely to have this sleep deprivation carry on for weeks, or months. I know of someone close to me who has had sleep deprivation for many, many years because of what’s required of her as a parent to a special needs child.
It was a shitty day, but not the shittiest. I have perspective. There were a few highlights of the day in there that we otherwise wouldn’t have experienced. So, that’s a yay. I told Jake’s doctor, “I’ll be able to laugh about this one day, right?” and he goes, “You can laugh about it right now!” And so I did. It was a bit of a laugh-cry, but I’ll take it.
I recall having wine for dinner, and I definitely skipped out on vegetables that day. Jason brought Freddy home for me that night, which was awesome. I went to sleep at 8:30, and although Jesse got up all night long, at least I had some sleep pieced together in there somewhat.
What should I call these posts?
The Daily Runs
The Runs on Paper
The Runs Go Down