I realize that I talk a lot about my anxiety disorder but I’ve never really told my story. I think it’s important for all of us to share stories but since I can’t serve each one of you a giant glass of wine (or coffee, or an Ativan…lol) and coax you to tell me yours, the least I can do is be vulnerable and tell you mine. I’ll split it up into parts as it’s too long for one post.
With hindsight being 20/20 and all, I can see now that I’ve always been an anxious person, right from birth. I was a colicky infant, a stressed out elementary student, and a self-medicated teenager.
In grade five my mom brought me to the doctor to figure out why I would always get stomach aches. He spoke nothing of anxiety and merely put me on a dairy-free diet to rule out a milk allergy. Soy milk and rice cakes became a dietary staple, and the shitty food selection combined with some gut-crippling anxiety caused me to drop a few pounds of much-needed athleticism. I didn’t get waify or anything, but I knew something was wrong.
Once I got into high school, I figured out that Gravol (an anti-nausea drug) made me drowsy which really helped take the edge off of my anxiety. So I took Gravol every day, and topped it off with alcohol at night when it was available.
Everybody gets anxious. Anxiety is a normal and healthy response to danger and stress. But you’ll know when it’s not normal. You won’t be able to eat or sleep. Your anxiety levels will fuck with your relationships, with your work, with school. It will rob you of your passions and interests. It will make you feel like you’re dying, which is so scary that you’ll actually want to die just to get it over with.
Almost every decision I made back then was out of fear.
Do you guys struggle with anxiety? And if so, were you anxious as a child too?
I’d love to hear your stories. Feel free to leave a comment or email me privately if you’d rather not share it on here. <3
Has being on a dairy-free diet helped any of you guys with stomach issues?