You know how while we’re giving birth we swear up and down that we will never do it again? And if you’ve never given birth, the same thing happens during the marathon too, right? And if you’ve never done a marathon, it also happens while assembling Ikea furniture or untangling Christmas lights.
So we’re pushing out our babies or slogging through the last few miles of a marathon and we swear to whoever will listen to us that we will never, ever for as long as we live, do it again.
And then we do. Some of us over and over and over and over again, depending on how crazy we are or whether or not the NHL is on strike.
But on the opposite end of the spectrum, we have this scene: It’s late, the kids are finally in bed, our clothes have bits of dried food crusted on the shoulders and it’s so hot outside that our legs are sticking to the leather seats that are covered in toast crumbs from the morning’s breakfast… from last week. We finally collapse into bed, makeup still on, wearing the same clothes we’ve been wearing all day and we’re too tired to even plug our phones in, let alone kiss our partner goodnight.
But for some reason, on this particular night, we decide to force ourselves out of bed to shower, slip into bed and get bizzayyy. And I swear, every. single. time this happens, we lie there hand in hand, sweaty and staring at the ceiling with stars in our eyes and we wonder why we would ever choose to instead roll over and go to sleep.
One memory lapse gives us more sleep and the other takes it all away.
Do you have less sex in the summer months when it’s hot and humid? Or is it the same all year round?
Do you want kids? How many?
What is the last thing you bought from Ikea?
I got Freddy a desk for his room and he assembled the whole thing by himself.