≡ Menu
The Runs header image

Blended Family Friday: The Gong Show

First of all, the whole lot of us walked over the line to El Nopal to party it up for Ethan and Freddy’s birthdays.

FullSizeRender-24

On a side note, I have a story.

Every Friday after school I drive our three kids (Jake, Freddy and Katie) out to their dad Jason’s house, but first, I have to get Jake to his guitar lesson by 4 o’clock. It’s a bit hectic on a normal day you know, just having to keep three people alive (two of which are teenagers) in a van with no escape for a solid half hour. But one particular Friday afternoon was a bit hairier than usual (I can’t exactly recall why, specifically, but I can list off about five probable options involving poo or a bad spill or a combination of the two).

I was uptight. I was grumpy. And for whatever reason, I felt justified to be a bag. I yelled a bunch of stupid stuff that I didn’t mean and I made Katie cry. I saw her face in my rear view mirror and I knew I had hurt her. What I didn’t know, was that Jake recorded the whole thing with his video camera on his phone.

I dropped the boys off and then I took Katie out for a drive and apologized to her and we both cried and hugged. Thankfully she forgave me. After I dropped her off at Jason’s, Jake texted me the video and I sat in my van and watched it, and my heart broke all over again.

It’s one thing to act like an asshole and then apologize and tuck it away like a fraying bra strap and another thing entirely to re-live it in stereo. The reality of the shrill sound of my voice, yelling irrationally at my baby girl, hit me hard. I was so ashamed.

What would our lives look like if we lived every moment as if we were being recorded? I know I’d be less of an asshole. I know that my hair wouldn’t be in a ponytail as much. And I know for sure that I’d take that extra few seconds every day to check for stray black facial hairs.

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Susie @ SuzLyfe May 15, 2015, 4:37 am

    I’d probably sneak less food. And maybe try to do more work. But otherwise, I dunno if I’d change that much. I’d probably still be just as annoying as ever.

  • Steve May 15, 2015, 6:17 am

    I think that would present me with an insurmountable obstacle. I always say dumb shit. I always do dumb shit. If there was a camera on my all of the time I think I would just give up and go with it…you know, let it all hang out and become the biggest dumbass of all time. That’s how I roll.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2015, 7:27 am

      Like Chris Farley! Did I hear a…*niner* in there?!?!

  • Maddie @ Dixie Runs May 15, 2015, 8:04 am

    Love that family pic!! Happy birthday Ethan and Freddy! I’m so glad my tantrums haven’t been caught on camera…. especially my drunken ones. If I was being recorded all the time I feel like I would act really fake…. but I care too much about what people think and I hate that. So maybe it would be a good experiment for me

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2015, 10:51 am

      Is it wrong that I really wish your drunken tantrums were caught on camera? If you decide to experiment, just make sure you let me watch them. I’ll get the popcorn ready.

  • Erin@BeetsPerMinute May 15, 2015, 10:33 am

    My dad used to ALWAYS tell me if I watched myself on video I’d be in for some serious soul searching. It’s so hard when you’re caught up in the moment to realize your reactions to things. Emotional snaps are human and they happen to the best of us, and you felt badly about it before you even knew it had been recorded. You’re, like, beyond an awesome mom from everything I can see, so don’t be so hard on yourself! <3

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2015, 10:50 am

      I can’t get that pic of your dad out of my head. He just seems like he was the most amazing person. The way you describe him, his personality, the way he’d deal with the hard stuff, and also his awesome hair, I just know we need more dads like him in this world.

  • jan May 17, 2015, 1:37 pm

    Aww, I think we’ve all had those parenting moments! I am a teacher, and I try to teach as if I’m always being recorded, because for all I know one of the kids IS recording me. 🙂 I know the feeling of feeling frazzled when trying to get kids places on time.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 17, 2015, 4:52 pm

      The thought of possibly being recorded certainly keeps us honest!

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets May 18, 2015, 11:09 am

    It’s hard to see our own flaws until they’re reflected right back us, either in a video or especially through someone else’s eyes.

    Also, we all have moments of being douche bags. Don’t beat yourself up too hard. Just learn from it.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 19, 2015, 6:55 am

      No, I don’t beat myself up. It may sound like I do because I publicly displayed this particular incident but I didn’t do it to be self-deprecating but rather to be transparent so that I could make a point. But yeah, I’ve certainly had my moments of douchebaggery.

Leave a Comment

Next post:

Previous post: