Andrew and I have different strengths. A good match has a Yin and Yang. Puzzle pieces.
But within each piece there are aspects of our personalities that thrive and there are some that starve. When Andrew’s thriving bit matches up with my starving part, we end up having a pretty rough day. Or week. Or month. Because we’re so off-balance, that we end up going in circles.
I remember trying to run with my dreads. They were so incredible heavy that they’d pull my centre of gravity back and forth like a fucking tractor trailer. I loved my knots and I know for a fact I would still have them if I wasn’t a runner. I kept them clean and soft and fuzzy, like a comforting blanket and cover when I needed to tuck myself into safety. But when I wanted to bust out and run? My dreads pulled me into a storm, its very centre ripping apart my foundation.
Things like date nights bring us back to our centre, a place where our strengths and weaknesses pull together like magnets, a force unseen but powerful nonetheless.
To be honest, we have had a couple of rough weeks. It’s hard to go too long without a date night, and we have both felt it. But I think what we realized today when we were talking on the phone is that we shouldn’t be waiting for date night to talk about the deep stuff. That we need to connect with each other daily, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
We’re really good at hanging out together and having fun. We’re best friends, and there is no lack of love. But communicating the hard stuff is something we really need to work on, not so much conceptually, as we do talk it out but habitually. We let things go too long before it blows up. And having such a huge family with this many people can make the perfect storm, if we wait too long.
Do you guys have a hard time communicating with people you love? What’s your tendency—to solve the problem asap or to sweep it all under the carpet?
I like solving problems RIGHT AWAY. <—- understatement of the century
Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?
I’ll never tell. But I know Susie will.