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Don’t Wish Me a Happy Mother’s Day

No, I’m not a pessimist. I don’t hold grudges and I’m not big on resentments (although I’ve got a few… but they’re reserved for a select few ears connected to bodies holding Crown and Coke, so I’ve benched them for a couple more months although, from time to time, when I’m feeling feisty, and a bit melancholic, and when I’ve got death metal cued up on my playlist, I’ll dabble a bit). I like to call myself a realist; I’m aware there’s feces, and I’ll open the door with my sleeve, thankyouverymuch.

I don’t air quotes get three out of four of my kids this weekend and so I air quotes miss out on seeing them on Sunday, which is Mother’s Day. While everyone else is eagerly anticipating their haphazardly planted pea shoots in Solo cups, I’m giving a whole lot of zero fucks about the whole thing.

About three days ago, Jake texted me in a panic feeling like maybe his bottom left wisdom tooth had left a dry socket. I told him I’d be right over to have a look. It was mid-day. Katie and Callum were sitting in the van, the sun was white-knuckling its grip on some pretty menacing cloud cover and I stood with Jake on the sidewalk, facing him, so that I could have a look into his mouth. It was difficult for him to open much. I held his bearded chin in my hands, my fingers grazing his jaw, my baby, a man, all in front of me and all he was and all he is and all he ever will be, trusting his mama, my son’s reflection in the light of my eyes while I searched what he gave me, all of him that moment had all of me, he always has, he always will, and his wounds were healing fine.

His wounds are healing fine. So are mine.

That’s Mother’s Day.

Sunday can fuck right off.

{ 19 comments… add one }
  • Amy Lauren May 10, 2017, 7:26 pm

    I don’t know… I feel like a lot of holidays are created to sell greeting cards and pack restaurants for brunch. We are not big holiday people- even on Valentine’s Day, we don’t do anything big (we actually go to Waffle House). I almost feel the same way about “appreciation weeks”. We’ve had both teacher and nurse appreciation weeks recently, and while I agree both professions have their share of crap to deal with on a daily basis… why are we celebrating people for a day, week, etc. What happened to year-round respect and thankfulness?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 7:26 am

      EXACTLY!!!!!

  • Nikki May 10, 2017, 7:49 pm

    Agreed. F all the “hallmark holidays”. Why don’t we just appreciate our loved ones more often throughout the year? With actions instead of a card or all that “normal holiday fluff”?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 7:26 am

      The cards are SO EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jen May 10, 2017, 8:03 pm

    Oh I dunno. I am *really* looking forward to the gift that Zachary got for me at the garage sales from the “free” table. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be verrrrry special 😉

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 7:26 am

      Awww cuuuuuuute!!!!

  • Allie Capo-Burdick May 11, 2017, 3:06 am

    Yikes!!!!…but I hear you on some level. I’m a tad jaded the other way since my mom died when I was 17 and I don’t get to celebrate mom’s day with her so everything feels a bit off…even though my stepmom is amazing, she’s not my mom and gift giving to her on Mother’s Day is awkward and always will be.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 7:25 am

      Crap. My post feels douchey now. I think I just poorly delivered my main point which was that I’m very anti-Hallmark holidays. I should probably focus more on the positive aspects of these holidays than get all caught up in making some sort of angry point. I’m kind-of an idiot sometimes. If there was Idiots Day, I’d probably get a really big present.

  • Suzlyfe May 11, 2017, 4:55 am

    Happy mother’s day. Today and everyday.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 7:25 am

      Thanks Suz. xo

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes May 11, 2017, 9:26 am

    I can’t stand Hallmark cards. They’re meaningless to me and sort of a cheap cop-out for really showing appreciation with meaningful gestures or gifts. I don’t have a problem with the holiday, but just those darn cards on every holiday.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 4:29 pm

      I think I’d be really good at writing Hallmark cards. I used to want to do that for a career! I think it would be fun. I’m good at coming up with cheesy rhyming limericks.

  • Jenny May 11, 2017, 2:03 pm

    I had to laugh because I actually did get a bean plant in a plastic cup! Hee hee! It’s on my kitchen windowsill and I’m wondering what in God’s name I’m going to do with it (or, how long it will be before I kill it.) I have to work on Sunday so, whatever… it’s just another day.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 4:25 pm

      Okay, truth? I got a bean plant in a plastic cup one year for Mother’s Day and it was one of my favourite gifts! I used to love growing things on my balcony (tomatoes, spinach, beans, peas). I wish I had more time and energy to do that stuff again.

  • Ange // Cowgirl Runs May 11, 2017, 2:45 pm

    I, too, an anti Mother’s Day. When I can, I do try to visit my mom sometime around Mother’s Day, but if Mother’s Day is the only time I think of to do something nice for my mom, the point has been lost. The idea is not to value our parents, or spouse, or whomever only on one day a year, but to value them throughout the year. My mom expects nothing overly special from me, but I’ll most definitely give her a call, and will visit her the next time we have the same day off (which rarely happens as my mom works most weekends).

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 11, 2017, 4:27 pm

      I hear ya! My mom came over today to watch Callum so I could run and I went out and got her the pinkest, frilliest, floweriest card I could find because she loves that stuff. It’s not MY cup of tea, but my mama definitely loves it.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets May 13, 2017, 7:23 am

    Don’t hate on my haphazardly planted pea shoots. Actually I don’t think I’ll be getting one, but I sure would appreciate it if I did. Mainly because I could then plant it in my garden.

    All I want for Mother’s Day is a mimosa and 30 minutes playing solo in the dirt and planting tomatoes and shit. 🙂 I might be lucky enough to get the compost into the raised bed, but probably no plants yet.

  • Ana May 17, 2017, 7:17 am

    Everyday is Mother’s day! I would rather spend a random day having a date with my son, than have him feel forced to be nicer to me on one specific day. But I would really rather have him do what I say when I say it.. like put on his shoes and grab his book pack! once we got to school and when we reached for his book pack it wasn’t there.. I asked him where it was and he said “I thought you had it!” See, if he was listening that makes me happier than a bouquet of flowers and a card on Mother’s day!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 17, 2017, 11:52 am

      YESSSS EXACTLYYYY! YOU GET ME!

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