We hear so much about the benefits of being healthy and staying active during pregnancy so I thought I would show you a different side. The dark one. Come join me, and bring along a family-sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.
Here are 4 reasons why it might suck to be a pregnant athlete:
We get competitive. If someone else does pregnancy better, then we will do whatever it takes to match her and raise her some arm definition and panel-free skinny jeans. Doing so could cost us a) really good food and b) our baby’s health. Also, comparing ourselves to others could result in unrealistic expectations during labour and delivery and therefore a really frustrating and disappointing childbirth experience. Why would we want to bring our little stinkers into the world under a dark cloud of “if only?” If only can fuck right off. Cheek bones are so overrated.
We might have to stop working out. If we already work out every day and then get pregnant, we can still continue our activities as long as everything is ship shape. If it’s not ship shape? If we get like, oh, a giant blood clot and hemorrhage like we’ve been shot 50 times, or if we get premature contractions, or have an incompetent cervix, we will get the big fat NO for our workouts. And that, my friends, is the definition of insanity. It’s better to not know what we’re missing.
We will probably treat the pregnancy like a game to be won, and the delivery like some sort of super tough aerobics class or ultra marathon. And it’s not. It’s all not. There are about the same number of similarities between childbirth and a marathon as there are between Jesus and Ghandi: they were both super nice and didn’t wear shoes. But I guarantee that no matter what religion you sign up for, you’ll be praying to all of the gods when it’s time to push out your baby.
We think that it’s all about teamwork. It can be sweet, you know, to have our partner in there, our best friends, our sisters, the new baby’s older siblings. But let me tell you, they are not on our team. They are our biggest fans, our support, for sure. But the baby that is coming out is about to tear through our pelvic cavity. Not theirs. There’s no goal keeper that saved a shot that got through our defensive line. Besides, that’s how we ended up this way in the first place.
If you’re an athlete and you get knocked up well then, great. Good for you. But don’t go getting all cocky about it, spending all your money on the next size up at LuluLemon and GapFit because chances are you’re going to bust through those bad boys in a hot minute. Because, life. It’s big, but not as big as your heart.
Did you ever run or exercise through any of your pregnancies?
I went into labour with Jake at 30 weeks and that was about it for me.
How much weight did you gain?
30 lb with Jake, 50 lb with Freddy, 35 lb with Katie, 30 lb with Callum
In labour with Jake:
In labour with Callum, 15 years later!
What is your favourite flavour of M&Ms?
Are all my “ou” usages bothering you Americans? 🙂 <3