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Mind-Blow

The thoughts and ideas in my head are forming and bursting on top of each other like a fireworks finale; it’s a little noisy up in harrrr. Rather than sitting down to type out a well thought out post, one that boasts a linear progression from a topic sentence all the way down to a heart-stopping conclusion, I decided to suck out a portion of my brain, a biopsy if you will, and shoot it out onto the page here in one giant boom.

Since Callum has been completely trained to do his business on the toilet, I have been held hostage in the bathroom. He insists that I sit beside him on his little stool while he goes. I have to hold my phone and play the videos I took of him and the train. He will do a little turd, jump off, point, exclaim, and celebrate, and then he has to go back on, and we do it all over again, over and over and over. I’m thinking of installing a shelf in the bathroom and perching a box of red wine on top of it.

I know that bloggers are supposed to have a lot of pictures. They say that pictures are what draw people into our posts. It’s true, for sure. I get it. But like, if bloggers are bloggers because they want to be writers, then shouldn’t we be good enough at writing that we don’t need actual pictures to portray what we’re describing? I used to never ever use emojis but then everyone else did, and they told me that I sound really grouchy in my texts. So, obviously I need to use happy face emojis because I’m a shitty writer.

Here’s a random photo so that you stay interested in what I’m writing:

Callum is at the age where he’s starting to eat our tasty treats. As in, we can’t sneak them down our hatches without him catching us mid-crunch. I feel like a bad parent allowing him put things like Doritos and cherry Coke Zero into his tiny little body, so I started buying organic taco-seasoned tortilla chips made out of beans and flax. Once in a while I go through the organic phase and when I do, my two older boys refer to these types of snacks as “diarrhea snacks.” They’ll be all, “Oh, I’ve been craving diarrhea chips lately–can you pick some up with some salsa?”

Lastly, I was supposed to do my tempo run last night but I pushed it forward to tonight instead. It’s pretty rare that I don’t take the chance to run. Totally out of character for me. But, I’m looking forward to running out the bees in my bonnet tonight once I get Callum to bed. I’ll have a cup of strong black coffee at around 6pm, and then start my run at around 7. At the moment I’ve got my hand in a bowl of diarrhea chips, so I think I’ll stick to the treadmill tonight.

Your turn! Tell me something random.

 

 

 

{ 24 comments… add one }
  • Jen February 28, 2017, 4:05 pm

    Ok. This is like my favourite post ever. I love it. Totally random. It’s the best

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 28, 2017, 5:39 pm

      I’m so glad you liked it! I’ll take it as a sign to do more random posts. My brain is FULL of totally bizarre shit.

  • Megan @ Meg Go Run February 28, 2017, 5:18 pm

    That is a hilariously random picture! I can’t think of anything more random for you to stick in there! I get the picture thing… I like pictures, since I am a NOSY person. If I take the time to read and comment on a blog, it basically means I am nosy about you. I feel guilty because I don’t post a lot of running pictures. But I don’t take my phone on my run! And then everyone would see I wear the same outfit to run in all week… hehehe.

    The whole being held hostage in the bathroom thing… that sounds absolutely horrible. What is your rule about nose picking? At school I do not allow it due to 1. germs, 2. do that in private if you must and wash your hands. But on Sunday we took me nieces out for several hours and the 4 yr old was picking her nose and I could not hide my disgust. And she is at that age where she could TELL I was grossed out because I can’t hide it. And I’m not sure anyone ever acted grossed out around her before. Because I mean, who is she with? Her family and other gross little kids. So I told her she could NOT pick her nose and if she wanted to pick it she had to use a tissue and we had to go to the bathroom to get one. So of course she didn’t want to do that because we were reading a story. But then she would go to pick it again and I would yell “Stop!” and she would say, “Oh, I forgot” which she probably did forget because she is probably used to just picking it whenever she wants to. So am I ridiculous for not letting her pick her nose? And if I am not ridic, what’s a better way to handle it?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 28, 2017, 5:39 pm

      I’m glad you brought up the subject of nose-picking. I’m going to have to PM you through Facebook or Snapchat or something. I have a story for you. But other than that, yeah I think I need to write a post on the subject. It’s time we pick it apart. Feel around the topic with our fingers, give it a taste.

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home February 28, 2017, 5:57 pm

    Haha–the random pic! My post for tomorrow is kind of dull, so I threw some fail pics of me…

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:20 pm

      I didn’t think it was dull at all. I love reading your clumsy stories!

  • Lisa @ Mile by Mile March 1, 2017, 1:50 am

    I love reading random posts like this. And pictures are nice and all, but they definitely dont make a post. Hope the tempo run went well!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:20 pm

      The tempo run didn’t go AS well as I thought… but… I got it done and that’s all that counts! Thanks Lisa!

  • Susie @ Suzlyfe March 1, 2017, 4:15 am

    There are so many posts where I wish I didn’t have to do pictures. But you are right–people like them. SILLY PEOPLE.
    As I am often constipated, I sometimes am as excited as Callum at having a poo.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:19 pm

      I’d totally celebrate with you when you poo. We can share the wine.

  • allisonfiorini March 1, 2017, 5:49 am

    Hi friend!!! Long time no chat 🙂 I don’t think you need pictures an emojis – your blog is never fails to entertain me. Missed reading your updates. Trying to get myself back into a groove here!!! Hope all is well <3

    (And then there's me, who tries to create emojis when she has none – like I did twice in that comment- because I really do think I need those things to keep people interested!)

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:19 pm

      YO ALLISONNNNNNN! Made my day to see you on here! I checked out your latest posts and you dove right back into marathon training like it’s nothing! Hitting sick paces and high mileage already. YOU RULE. I’m so glad you’re back!

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes March 1, 2017, 10:26 am

    Pictures are my least favorite part about blog writing. And emojis feel like reverting to hieroglyphics to me. I actually sometimes skip the photos if I’m skimming through a post, which probably says something really weird about me. All the good stuff is in the writing.
    I hope your tempo run went well!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:18 pm

      Yeah, like when we take photos of ourselves doing certain exercises as a way to illustrate how to do them properly, I always struggle with where I’m supposed to look. It’s just creepy if I’m looking directly into the camera. I noticed that with your post from today, you’re looking up and to the side while you illustrated the glute exercises. I think that’s the best option, otherwise we’re connecting with our audience just a little….too….much. Ha ha!

  • meredith (The Cookie ChRUNicles) March 1, 2017, 11:23 am

    this is why we are friends! totally agree about the bloggers and pictures. I am the worst with pictures and pictures aren’t why I blog! I blog to write and yes, your words give me more than enough that the pictures really don’t need to be there to keep me reading! totally agree and understand. and ugh, the potty years! I lived in the bathroom with my son even though he trained himself, he liked me to sit there and read books. he used to tell me he had to go potty once he was in the crib at night even though he didn’t have to go. kid was smart. he would laugh once we got to the bathroom. such great memories.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:16 pm

      Benjamin is so smart! I love it.

      • Corry March 1, 2017, 6:03 pm

        My son used to make me sit with him in the bathroom and read books too. I had to shut that racket down. There was no way that I was going to turn my son into a “hang out in the bathroom and read and poop for an hour” kinda guy, like his dad. I can’t for the life of me figure out why men, and maybe perhaps some ladies, want to spend any extra time in the shitter. I’m in and out in 30 seconds!

        • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 7:11 pm

          It’s a guy thing. Totally. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if I took a long time to go poo. The second I sit down in there, Callum busts open the door (he knows how to unlock it from the outside), marches up to the side of the toilet and pushes on my right hip and begs me to move so he can see what’s inside. DRIVES ME CRAZY.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets March 1, 2017, 11:36 am

    You could have skipped the picture and I would have kept reading.

    In light of your snackage, I think the treadmill sounds like a fabulous idea.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 12:15 pm

      Thankfully, I didn’t have any issues. The diarrhea chips presented themselves at bedtime instead.

  • Ange // Cowgirl Runs March 1, 2017, 1:40 pm

    I’m for REAL awful at remembering to take pictures. Unless its of Charlie, then 687358 end up on Instastories because GAH SHE KILLS ME.
    I’m thankful Laura shows up at our blogging events with a fancy camera so we can get pretty pictures otherwise I’d have ZERO.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2017, 3:21 pm

      I love your stories on Charlie! Your cats are incredibly cute. Like, the best of the best.

  • Helly on the Run March 2, 2017, 12:15 pm

    I wasn’t a huge fan of emojis (and still am not) but yeah, sometimes I come across a tad…bitchy if you say, so I try and lighten things up with a smiley face every now and then.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 2, 2017, 6:23 pm

      We gotta spice things up once in a while. 😉

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