So, I told you guys that I couldn’t fit everything that happened last week in this Monday’s Week in Review, right? Which is mostly true but a little bit not because the real reason I didn’t tell you guys this story is because it’s embarrassing. It showcases an ugly side of my character that I’d rather keep hidden and quite frankly, it’s handing out sandwiches to homeless people compared to the really shitty stuff I’ve said and done so don’t think for a second that what I’m about to tell you is like, oh, a sneak peak into the Real Suzy Slane. Hell no. It’s just an embarrassing story. I’d rather tell you guys that I nearly crapped my pants in public than stories like these because only one of those scenes reveal character flaws.
Disclaimer much, Suzy?
So there’s this parking lot from hell. The grocery store we frequent on the regular throws down this poorly organized lot filled with tight spaces and one-way capabilities but with two-way traffic. I mean, we’re Canadian, so the apologies rain down harder than the weather but once in a while you’ll come across some tension, some honking, some yelling. It happens. It happened last week when I waited forever to back the Hotyssey up and when nobody let me out, I decided to just gun it and force the other cars to stop and wait for me.
But when I settled into neutral after backing up, the lady who I had just cut off was practically sitting on my lap she was so close to me, her window down, looking cross as ever and she stuck her arm out the window and gestured at me with a “oh come ON” arm motion. And me? I took my sunglasses off, stared right full into her face, smiled, and gave her the middle finger. Not thirty seconds later and my friend Cora texted me saying, “Nice back-up moves!”
Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody is watching, sure. But if you’re ever wondering if you’re a bag of dicks, I promise you, at some point or another, people will notice.
If you want to read more posts about this, check out the time I littered a huge cup of Diet Coke out my van window.
Do you get road rage? How do you deal?
Do you have any road rage stories?
Done any shitty things lately?