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My Back Up Moves

So, I told you guys that I couldn’t fit everything that happened last week in this Monday’s Week in Review, right? Which is mostly true but a little bit not because the real reason I didn’t tell you guys this story is because it’s embarrassing. It showcases an ugly side of my character that I’d rather keep hidden and quite frankly, it’s handing out sandwiches to homeless people compared to the really shitty stuff I’ve said and done so don’t think for a second that what I’m about to tell you is like, oh, a sneak peak into the Real Suzy Slane. Hell no. It’s just an embarrassing story. I’d rather tell you guys that I nearly crapped my pants in public than stories like these because only one of those scenes reveal character flaws.

Disclaimer much, Suzy?

So there’s this parking lot from hell. The grocery store we frequent on the regular throws down this poorly organized lot filled with tight spaces and one-way capabilities but with two-way traffic. I mean, we’re Canadian, so the apologies rain down harder than the weather but once in a while you’ll come across some tension, some honking, some yelling. It happens. It happened last week when I waited forever to back the Hotyssey up and when nobody let me out, I decided to just gun it and force the other cars to stop and wait for me.

But when I settled into neutral after backing up, the lady who I had just cut off was practically sitting on my lap she was so close to me, her window down, looking cross as ever and she stuck her arm out the window and gestured at me with a “oh come ON” arm motion. And me? I took my sunglasses off, stared right full into her face, smiled, and gave her the middle finger. Not thirty seconds later and my friend Cora texted me saying, “Nice back-up moves!”

Integrity is doing the right thing when nobody is watching, sure. But if you’re ever wondering if you’re a bag of dicks, I promise you, at some point or another, people will notice.

If you want to read more posts about this, check out the time I littered a huge cup of Diet Coke out my van window.

Do you get road rage? How do you deal?

Do you have any road rage stories?

Done any shitty things lately?



{ 19 comments… add one }
  • Lisa @ Mile by Mile May 12, 2017, 1:31 am

    I don’t really get road rage, although drivers can definitely annoy me. I am not assertive enough when it comes to driving. I would be the person to just sit there for as long as it takes to get out of the spot. The parking garage where I work is always a disaster (so many cars backing in and out) but if I see someone trying to get out of a spot I usually stop, assuming they won’t see me coming. It’s more self defense than being nice I think.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 12, 2017, 8:10 am

      Parking garages would kill me. And yes, I usually wait for people to back up too because I do NOT feel like dealing with ICBC. Huge pain.

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home May 12, 2017, 5:46 am

    I was expecting something much worse, which says a lot about my character. A couple weeks ago, I was crossing the road and a car sped up then honked at me. I gave him the finger, which was totally spontaneous and not something I even planned. I never do that. I don’t know if it’s menopause but I’m always surprised at the anger that bubbles to the surface on occasion…

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 12, 2017, 8:08 am

      Oh, there’s way worse. Way. And yes, I have surprising anger that bubbles to the surface too, which is kinda why I made such a big deal about this parking lot thing because it’s not so much what I did but what was lying underneath that needs my attention.

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes May 12, 2017, 7:00 am

    Parking lots in the Seattle area are a nightmare. I never flip off anyone but I swear under my breath all the time. But I probably make other people swear with my Midwest defensive driving…

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 12, 2017, 8:07 am

      Ohhh I can see how it would be a big adjustment to go from the midwest to the chaos of Seattle!

  • Helly May 12, 2017, 7:01 am

    I really have to control myself when I’m driving with my kids because I def get ragey when I drive. People can be so rude and unaware on the road. Drives me crazy. So then when I feel like yelling, Are you fucking kidding me?! I try and breathe and then say, Be patient mommy. Now my kids tell me that when they sense an outburst coming, lol!!!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 12, 2017, 8:06 am

      Yeah, so yesterday this lady cut me off in a Starbucks drive-through line and I was like WTF?!? She wouldn’t do that in a regular line in person in a store, but just because she’s in a vehicle she feels like she can pull shit like that and hide behind her big ass SUV tinted windows. SIGH… I have anger issues.

  • Megan @ Meg Go Run May 12, 2017, 2:45 pm

    I hate getting stuck behind slow people but what Paul and I do is start talking to the cat in a really high pitch, like how we talk to the cats. We will be like, “Hey buddy keep going, you can do it! Look at that little guy go!!” I think I will snap you exactly what we do. It makes us laugh instead of be angry. I only flip off HS kids who yell at me when I run. But seriously, I would never flip anyone off in the car because what if they had a gun??

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2017, 7:53 am

      Ah yes, the things you guys have to think about down there! I never even thought of the whole gun thing! You’re right–I’d NEVER get into any sort of conflict if I lived across the line.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets May 13, 2017, 7:39 am

    I love the Canadian metaphor, raining down apologies.

    You don’t want to see my road rage. It’s not pleasant, although I’m trying to curtail now that Ave’s usually in the car with me.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2017, 7:52 am

      I was pleased as punch when that metaphor came pouring out of my fingertips.

  • Susie @ Suzlyfe May 13, 2017, 5:27 pm

    In my opinion, not shitting your pants is doing the right thing. So, you have integrity.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2017, 7:53 am

      Squeeeeeeeze those bum cheeks together.

  • Jamie@TheMomGene May 13, 2017, 5:50 pm

    So this story is really about me right? I am the WORST in the car. I tailed and then cut off Charlie’s therapist while on our way to school…and then we parked next to each other.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 15, 2017, 7:52 am

      HA HA HA! Okay, that’s TOTALLY something that would happen to me! Classic. Stories like this occur all the time but nobody talks about them. I love that you’re open and honest about it! You’re the best!

  • Ana May 17, 2017, 7:06 am

    I am not a road rager… but the other day a woman driver pissed me off. I was trying to gently move into her lane, and had my blinker on, as if I was nicely asking her to let me in, but she starting tailing the car in front of her so that I couldn’t squeeze in. I was alone in the car, but I called her a F ‘in B*tch. I felt bad about calling her such an awful name as soon as it came out of my mouth. But why couldn’t she let me in her stupid lane!1

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com May 17, 2017, 11:52 am

      I hate it when people are rude like that, especially because they’d never butt in line in person but when they’re in the safety of their car then they feel like they can act like a bag of dicks and still more or less remain anonymous. JERKS.

  • San May 23, 2017, 2:49 pm

    Oh come on, we all had this moment before, am I right? People are just bad drivers…

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