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Naked Truth

I thought I would update you guys on my whole self acceptance project. I swear, cross my heart, hope to die, I am cured, simply by saying my fear out loud to you all and then moving through it with your encouragement. That’s it. I’m done hiding.

Don’t think for a minute that I don’t care what I look like. Some people don’t, and I don’t judge them at all. I even kinda idolize them for it. But me? I want to love what I look like, but no matter what I look like. I want to feel sexy. Womanly. Strong. I want my gaze to be unyielding and my mouth open and honest. Shoulders unapologetic, my hips stable, my core solid. A foundation sound enough upon which to build an empire of love but soft enough around the corners for grace. We all need grace, otherwise our movements are rigid and forced.

I am pieced together by grace and love. My mother gives me faith, my father gives me tenacity (relentless old fart… xoxo). My eldest sister wisdom, my other sister vivacity. Jason drives me crazy, Andrew pulls me in and cradles my everything. My children, all of them, offer me humility, compassion and humour. For if I can’t laugh at my mistakes, then this isn’t survivable, and I’m ever thankful for their grace.

This I carry within the skin I’m in. I’d stand naked in my bathroom mirror forever, if this is all I saw staring back at me. I love her. I love me, all the pieces.

 

{ 16 comments… add one }
  • Roman December 4, 2015, 3:40 am

    Fearfully and wonderfully made! I am testing you on this one. ;=)
    I hope you are having a fabulous Friday!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 8:23 am

      Psalm 139! Do I get my gold star? Awe yayahhhh!

      • Roman December 4, 2015, 12:28 pm

        Awesome possum! I am impressed. Remember who you are! I just got back from the Health and Fitness Expo for the R&R. Got my number and ready to roll! Have a blast! It’s Friday!

        • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 10:01 pm

          Oh, have a great race Roman! Let me know how it goes!!!

  • Susie @ SuzLyfe December 4, 2015, 3:59 am

    I LOVE YOU TOO

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 8:22 am

      It’s a love-fest!

  • Heather@hungryforbalance December 4, 2015, 4:47 am

    You are amazing and beautiful.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 8:21 am

      Oh stop. Okay, don’t stop.

  • Gretchen | Gretchruns December 4, 2015, 5:55 am

    <3<3<3 (p.s. happy Friday!)

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 8:21 am

      Happy FRIYAY, Gretch!

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes December 4, 2015, 10:12 am

    You’re so beautiful, both on the inside and out <3

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 12:27 pm

      Awe, spanks. <3

  • mylittletablespoon December 4, 2015, 4:08 pm

    This – and your initial post you linked to – are so freaking beautiful. I really resonant with the “defiant compensation,” you speak of. The coldness takes over me and makes me – even briefly – someone I don’t like. Your gift with words – gah! Thank you for sharing this!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 4, 2015, 9:58 pm

      Okay, that’s a huge compliment! Thank you so much for your kind words and I am so glad that you were able to relate to me. That’s my goal. We all need each other to get through this crazy life!

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets December 5, 2015, 6:03 am

    Self acceptance is one of those things I find really gets easier over time, along with not caring what other people think. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’ll come and you are beautiful.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com December 5, 2015, 7:30 pm

      Meghan, I know that you’re one of the greats. It takes a strong person to stay steady on their feet and shave their head not in defiant insecurity but with complete and utter surrender. Surrender to the walls we all want to protect ourselves with. Surrender to preconceived ideas of what and who we are supposed to be. Surrender to love. You know love, I know you do. You don’t fuck it, you take it in and breathe it out. No walls. I see you, only because you let me, and I love you for it.

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