This is going to be one of those brain dump posts, which will be entertaining at best, or land me in jail at worst. Or maybe that’s best. I could use the solitude and the jail sex would be exciting. Canadian jail would be pretty tame. We might sip out of chipped tea cups and eat grade “B” beef. We’d apologize for an obnoxious sneeze, and the corrections officers would apologize while they’d whip us. Would we even get whipped, or do they not do those things anymore? Things have changed a lot over the years. They’d probably just take away our wifi for the day.
I’m going to my cousin’s baby shower this weekend and I can’t tell you guys how much I love shower food. Isn’t it simply the best? They have a little boy Callum’s age and they just had a little girl. I can’t wait to meet her!!! I think someone should throw me a fifth baby shower. HA HA! Totally kidding. Can you imagine? I think everyone would just bring gift bags filled with condoms.
Katie and I and Callum headed to an outdoor mall to pick up some gifts for my cousin’s baby and after we bought some adorable clothes, Callum joined the masses of children on the playground there and burned off some energy before bed. He tore around the play area, climbing, laughing, having a good old time until one of the bigger kids knocked him over onto the ground. Callum wasn’t hurt but hot DAMN he was pissed off. The kid came unglued. After I peeled him off the rubber ground, he covered his face with his hands and had a bit of a cry. And then? He swiveled his torso around, faced the kid that knocked him over and Callum screamed at the top. of. his. lungs. A mad scream. Like someone was being murdered. And then he put up one of his hands into a stop position and yelled, “STOP IT” at the kid. The mother took the boy’s hand and left the playground. It was a bit embarrassing, but I gotta give Callum props for assertiveness. Preschool is going to be a treat.
Brandy has a spa appointment tomorrow morning at 9. Well, not a spa. She’s getting shampooed by a lady that sounds like she smokes about 3 packs a day. When she asked for Brandy’s name, I spelled it out and she says, “Oh, Brandy like the alcohol, not the stripper.” I’m like, “Oh! How do you spell Brandy the stripper?” and she replies “With an ‘i’ not a ‘y’.” Hey. You learn something new every day. I picked up a cat carrier at the pet store today and they had a cat there with the hugest testicles I have ever seen. I so badly wanted to take a picture but I didn’t know if the cat was underage or not. I couldn’t remember if cat years are multiplied by 7 or 9 or what. Too risky. Although, now we’re back to the jail scene.
I think I need my wifi taken away for the day. At least.