I haven’t had time to read blogs lately! Actually, to be honest, I can read them but I can’t comment on them–it’s too hard to comment on my phone. I’ve been on Instagram a LOT though, especially in the middle of the night. I have no idea how I survived my first three kids’ newborn phases without social media! It helps so much to stay connected to people, as dumb as that sounds, because when we’re up in the night with a fussy newborn it can feel so isolating and just being able to text another mom who is up with their baby is just such a gift. I love how all of our messages to each other are filled with typos from trying to text with one hand while nursing our babies. Ha! But I’m also loving staying connected to my other friends too, who aren’t in the throes of babyhood because HEY! I’m more than just a mommy! And I love hearing about what everyone else is up to, and what they’re excited about, or what they’re struggling with so that I can reach out and help them if they need it too. We’re all in this together!
I’m feeling so good! When my milk came in last week, I really REALLY struggled with anxiety and mood and emotions and ALL THE THINGS. It was really, really awful. When this happened after I delivered my first baby (17 years ago), the hormone fluctuation sent me into a tailspin. But now that I’m able to be self aware of what’s going on (I had NO idea how hormonal the postpartum phase was–I was only 22!) and proactive (I talked to my GP about my anxiety at Jesse’s one week check-up), I was/am able to manage it WAY better this time. It also really helps that I was able to return to running again so soon. If you’re interested in my specific mileage, head on over to my Mileage Monday post here.
My breast engorgement settled down, my hormones leveled out and my anxiety went down to a loud whisper. Whew!
I’ve been having those weird postpartum night sweats which feel gross in the moment but feel good after a shower. My weight dropped fast after the initial post-delivery gain (water retention when my milk came in) so I went from 138lb to 133lb last week, and now I’m 129lb. It will go down much slower now, but I’m not worried about that–I’m too excited about what my body is doing/has done! I can fit into my K’Tan baby carrier (my boobs were too big last week to wear it properly) and Jesse loves it.
Andrew and I sat together one night and just reminisced about the whole birth day of Jesse and how amazing it was. And then I just shook my head and thought about everything my body has been through! About 13 marathons, 2 ultras, 5 children, 80-100 mile weeks, like WHAAAAT?! My body has served me well and I’m never going to take its capabilities for granted. Nope. Each and every day I will love it because I know how fragile life is.
Jesse is doing great! He’s back up to and past his birth weight and he’s becoming more alert each day. He sleeps a LOT. Well, actually, at first he liked to party each night between midnight and 3am so I was dying a slow and painful death but then a couple nights in a row he only woke up twice between 8pm and 8am! The first time was at midnight and he went right back to sleep after I fed him (and had a burp) but then when he got up at 4, it took me over an hour to get him back to sleep again. BUT… I’m getting 7-8 hours of sleep now, even though it’s broken up. Last night was brutal–he woke up every 2 hours and he was fussy and difficult to put back down but hey–you win some and you lose some.
Another thing I should add is that Callum had colic. Katie did too, but Callum’s was off the effing CHARTS. It was traumatizing, and so I feel myself panicking a bit about whether Jesse will have it or not. I can’t count how many times I’ve Googled “when does colic start” and then nervously checked the calendar. I don’t think he will get it, but you never know. And I wanted to be honest with you guys and just get that out there, that I’m definitely worried about it.
Jesse so sweet. It’s amazing to me how it feels like he’s always been here, that I’ve always known him. I knew from having my first four that this is what would happen when I had him, but it’s still mind-blowing amazing each and every time. I can’t believe how our hearts just get bigger to accommodate more people to love. Callum is so good with him. It’s definitely tougher to get out the door with the both of them but I do it, knowing that a) a little crying never hurt anyone and b) there’s a box of red wine on the counter once they go to bed. Ha!
I hear my little squeaker (Andrew called him that in the hospital because he doesn’t really cry–he squeaks) waking up from his nap now, so off I go! OH and it also blows me away that I am his only source of food! I AM KEEPING ANOTHER HUMAN ALIVE! That totally freaks me out. But man, what an honour. What a gift. So humbling, and I am so thankful.
Here he is with both eyes open! His skin is peeling. I keep putting Burt’s Bees baby oil on him and it’s slowly getting better.
Favourite remedy for dry skin?