I wrote a little bit about how anxious I’ve been feeling in yesterday’s post. I’m sure it’s a mixture of hormones and lack of sleep on top of an already underlying anxiety disorder but it still sucks, even if I can pinpoint why it’s happening.
I wasn’t going to mention this but I decided to anyway because I’ve never done anything normal, so why start now? So… on what, Friday? Yeah, Friday morning, I woke up to an ingrown pube. Because, you know, since I’m getting so close to the end here, I’ve been making sure that everything is groomed and ready for the big day, right? Things like tweezing my stray brows, clipping and filing my nails, painting my toenails, dying my greys, and shaving my legs, armpits and coochie. I used to wax, but ingrown hairs were much more frequent with that method so I stick with the razor. Anyway, so on Friday I woke up with an issue down there and by the afternoon it had turned red, was throbbing, and swollen. It was so bad that as soon as I got home, I sat on an ice pack.
But then because I’ve had anxiety issues, I started to imagine that the angry lump would spread inward, infect the baby and we’d all die during childbirth. My funeral would be tense and awkward (do people die of ingrown pubes?) and I’d never get around to publishing my book. You know what? If this happens, will one of you kind souls graciously leave this part out once you find my book (it’s printed out, snapped up in a zippered binder in the crawlspace, tucked between the rejected artwork Andrew’s ex quite thoughtfully passed along to us and the sticky spider trap, a graveyard of sorts, filled with hairy legs and eyeballs). No, the irony isn’t completely lost on me.
The baby is the size of a melon, weighs 6lb, nearly 19″ long, blah blah blah.
Okay but anyway, everything worked itself out and nobody is going to die. I even gained a solid pound this week, bringing me back up to 141lb. It helps that the sun (and its heat) is being blocked by the smoke from the wildfires so although we’re all contracting emphysema, we’re all comfortably cool which makes it easier for me to once again consume large quantities of food.
Running has been going well, although the bathroom breaks are quite intrusive (more poo breaks than pee breaks, which is normal, I think, when the baby is bigger and lower, putting more pressure on the bowel, but I’m also a poo machine so there’s that, too). If you’d like to check out my 60 mile week details, it’s in this post here.
I’ve had a crazy amount of Braxton Hicks with a few hours here and there of some solid contractions that take me aback a bit. I even rang my sister one night and told her to keep her phone on in case we needed to make a hospital trip. But I knew what I did wrong that day–I ran in the morning and didn’t drink a drop of water, only coffee, until the afternoon sometime–so for all you preggies out there, HYDRATE LIKE A FRIGGIN’ BOSS.
We have our OBGYN appointment today and I’m going to ask her to check my cervix. I’m going to make a guess that I’m at about 2cm dilated. Let’s see if I’m right (here is a post that explains the whole dilation thing). I’m also curious to see what my uterus is measuring. I know I’m still measuring small, but I can’t wait to push this baby out and blow everyone’s minds, because I can feel the immense size of this boy. I just know these things. I’ll give you guys an update tomorrow or something.
I’ve got a post ready to rock and roll on what I packed in my hospital bag (it’s all ready to go!) and I’m working on a newborn essentials post too, that I hope I’ll be able to put up later this week.
I’m almost there! Tell me your thoughts! Ask me your questions!
Have you ever had an infected ingrown hair? If you died from one, would you tell people? Wait–uhhh–never mind.