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It’s fucking weird right now. We went from like what, 4 degrees Celcius to a solid 21 in a few hours. The warm breeze dumped more carnage on our doorstep than a crowd surf at a Metallica concert.

Just because I’m Canadian doesn’t mean I don’t feel what you feel tonight. We feel it. It’s like watching my sister in a hospital bed, connected to a labyrinth of wires keeping her alive, and the only thing I have control over is the wrinkle in my American dollar bill; those things never work in the change machines, and I need a snack more than anything. Over and over, I’ll press the heel of my palm into its face, willing it to convert rhyme into reason.

I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my nearly 39 years of life, and whenever I stand at the crossroads of Holy Shit and What Now, I look around for love. Because the only way that we will be able to move forward, no matter which road we take, is if we’ve got someone beside us.

I’m beside you.

{ 20 comments… add one }
  • Susie @ Suzlyfe November 8, 2016, 8:25 pm

    I had to de-Suzicorn because of what is going on. Apparently magic does exist I the world, and I don’t want to be part of it.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 8, 2016, 8:37 pm

      I’ll just squeeze your hand.

  • Ana November 9, 2016, 12:04 am

    Oh my god! I am sitting in bed at 2:57 am crying! I can’t believe what I’m living. It’s awful. I’m going to sleep, bc I have to be at work tomorrow, and hope to wake up to find it was the worst nightmare ever.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 12:14 am

      I can’t believe it either, if that helps at all. It’s like some sort of tasteless joke, as if someone will wake us up in the morning with a bucket of water and it will all be over.

  • Allie Capo-Burdick November 9, 2016, 3:02 am

    This means so much as I am searching for love right now. I just cannot fathom how MY country and the people I live with chose this for our future. I’m shocked, pissed, scared and need to run. For a long, long, time…and then run more. Fuck.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 7:55 am

      That’s how I deal too. Run, and run and run and run and run. I hope you’re able to get out for a long one today, or at least very soon.

  • Allie Capo-Burdick November 9, 2016, 3:04 am

    Thank you so much for this.
    I cannot believe I woke up to this nightmare. Instead of celebrating history I feel like we are going to repeat the worst parts of it with a psychopath at the helm. Who are these people in my country??? How did this happen???

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 7:55 am

      I’m not even sure how it happened. It doesn’t seem real.

  • Gretchen November 9, 2016, 5:41 am

    <3 you're the best, Suzy. If things start to get crazy(er) here I can hide in your closet right?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 7:54 am

      Yup. And when the kids start driving me mad, I’ll join you.

  • Jenny November 9, 2016, 6:24 am

    Packing my bags right now, will be moving in with you ASAP. Thanks for the compassionate point of view.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 7:54 am

      A lot of people wish they were Canadian right now, no doubt.

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home November 9, 2016, 6:30 am

    I’m sick, I’m sad, I’m embarrassed. I want everyone to know that we are not that man.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 7:54 am

      Yeah, of course! We know that, for sure. xo

  • Amy Lauren November 9, 2016, 9:23 am

    Thank you, Suzy. I am both sad and scared for my country right now.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 1:38 pm

      I understand. I also know that nothing good comes from fear, so we gotta figure out how to manage it together. <3

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes November 9, 2016, 11:45 am

    Thank you, Suzy. I feel like I woke up back in the 1850s or 1950s. I just read the first 100 Day plan and my heart broke. I ran today and just prayed the whole entire time.
    But I still refuse to let go of my belief that people at their heart are good.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 9, 2016, 1:41 pm

      I try and pray while I run, but I usually end up having to spend the whole run asking for forgiveness for thinking scandalous thoughts mid-prayer. Ha. Kidding. Just trying to be funny. NOT COOL, SUZY.

      Yes, maybe people aren’t good “at their hearts” but rather we all have the capacity to be good. And kind and loving and gracious. It’s a choice and we all (besides the psychopaths and sociopaths) are able to choose.

  • San November 15, 2016, 5:07 pm

    Thank you, Suzy. That means a lot. I’ve been feeling so sick…

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets November 16, 2016, 10:11 am

    If only our vending machines took loonies….

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