I feel like everywhere I go, I see bloggers doing gift guides. Buy these shoes, these ear pods, these compression socks and I’m just like, enough already. If you need a gift guide to buy something for someone you actually give a fuck about, then let your own cold little heart be your guide.
This is not one of those posts.
So, if you’re related to me, then you should probably just close this up and go online shopping at the Gap or something. Here is the link, just in case you’re too shocked to move.
Need a perfect gift for someone who loves weekend-long scrapbooking retreats?
What about your boss, that always calls you “Sandy” instead of your real name “Sadie?”
Alcohol. Skip the Starbucks cards. All the alcohol.
What about a gift for a friend in your running group?
Toilet paper. Not 3-ply, though. Don’t get excited. It clogs.
Your favourite nephew?
Subscription to Sports Illustrated, wrap up the swimsuit edition, and tape it shut with scratch and sniff banana stickers.
Your favourite niece?
Subscription to Sports Illustrated, wrap up the swimsuit edition, and tape it shut with scratch and sniff banana stickers. And a big dildo.
Stuff $200 into a game of Monopoly, wrap it up and when they open it, tell them they can deposit it when they go. Ahhh just kidding. But if you do give them money, trust them with it, and hope they don’t blow the whole thing on Starbucks caramel frappuccinos.
Give them the gift of trust and vulnerability. Strip down, and with grace and courage, fall back into them and let love hold you both up over the next few weeks. Stay close. Laugh. Reach out when everything within you says hold back. Lock eyes, don’t shift. Hold strong. Let love win; it wants to, but it needs you to first let go.
No wonder Gretch‘s workplace blocks her from viewing my blog.
Does your workplace block you from my website? What about your own moral judgement? Or do you push through it?
Do you have to buy a gift for someone you don’t give a fuck about? What are you getting them?
Have you ever re-gifted anything? Details please!