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The Glaring Truth

Andrew and I love to go to TheatreSports, an improv drama type thing on Granville Island in Vancouver. Well to be honest we’ve only been twice. The second time was for my birthday just over a month ago and despite my celebratory drunken state I managed to jot down a memory in my iPhone notes section (you’ll need to skim over the first couple of notes first):

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The actors had to do this game where they’d have to be all whatever on stage until the spotlight focused in on one of them and in that moment, that person had to tell the truth. Whatever truth that came to their mind in quite literally, the heat of the moment.

Well the spotlight centred in on one guy and his truth rocked my world in the best of ways. He glanced upward as if to absorb the reality of the spotlight. Then he looked down at his feet and wiggled his toes in his shoes as if to sink his body further into the soothing familiarity of the stage. Then he looked up, fixed a strong gaze at the audience and told us this:

The truth? I’m gay and my ex-wife’s name is Norico, the name I ‘randomly’ chose to use in the previous skit. And Norico and I are friends and she lives in the apartment right above me.”

That’s life. It’s life because it’s love and grace and redemption translated into hydro bills and sharing the package of baby carrots from Costco. It’s a hug when it should be held back. It’s an inside joke, a song that makes you both cry and you both know it and you don’t tell each other.

Sometimes life gets familiar and comfortable like lukewarm family sized macaroni and cheese casserole, or like the worn out bit on the front entrance light switch. But just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right.

But thank Grace, you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be.

I can’t stop laughing at all the drunk typos in my iPhones notes. Aren’t you dying to know how I could possibly construct a post about asparagus pee?

If a spotlight shone on you right this second, right now while you’re reading this, what would you have to say out loud?

I’m drinking wine out of my cat mug. I hid Andrew’s wedding ring in the special piggy bank that my dear friend Melody gave to me when Callum was born because Andrew and I had a fight and I hid it when he took it off for his run. I don’t see Jake enough and my heart breaks every second of every minute of every hour and of every day for him, and nobody will ever understand it, and that has to be okay. The candle I bought from Bath and Body Works smells like salmon.

 

 

 

 

{ 19 comments… add one }
  • Rachel February 25, 2016, 1:39 am

    Thank you.
    Thank you for all your words, thoughts & feelings. They feel so connected to the truth that most of us would be too afraid to put them in writing & I’m so glad that you have the courage to do so.
    Thank you also for sharing your hiding spot.
    Rachel

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 7:36 am

      Hi Rachel! It’s so scary for us to be out in the spotlight like that but for every person that rejects/judges us for our Truth, there are a zillion more that love us for it.

  • Susie @ SuzLyfe February 25, 2016, 5:06 am

    I used to love improv. I bet you can imagine that. The first thing I noticed were your drunken typos as well. SPot in ;D

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 7:34 am

      You’d be SO good at improv! I’m terrible at it. I’m terrible at coming up with something on the spot. I get all panicky!

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes February 25, 2016, 9:59 am

    I make so many typos when I write on my phone before coffee. My brain autocorrects my writing.
    I’d drink wine out of mugs with any day. I’ll bring my Charlie the puggle mug.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 6:24 pm

      You have a Charlie the puggle mug?!?!?!?!?!?! Have you ever posted a photo of it???? I NEED TO SEE IT.

  • Megan @ Meg Go Run February 25, 2016, 10:00 am

    Improv scares the crap out of me. I used to not even be able to go watch it because I would get secondhand anxiety for the performers! Luckily I got over that and now go see my best friend perform in his improv group often. When I was in Rent a few years ago, our director made us warm up with improv exercises and I HATED it. I would try to take a trip to the ladies room as often as possible so I didn’t have to join in.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 6:23 pm

      Meg! I totally relate to you!!!! If I know you as well as I think I do, I feel like you and I are quite similar. We are passionate and obnoxious (from time to time), creative, open and generous, but then only one requirement: that WE are in complete control of all of the above. I have no problem pulling my pants down and running around the neighborhood completely naked. But only if it’s my decision. Are we the same?

      • Megan @ Meg Go Run February 26, 2016, 4:06 am

        Yes, in “real life” I want to be in control! It’s funny Paul and I were just talking about that last night. But when I am performing, I DON’T want to be the one making the decisions. I was to say the words on the script, sing the song that was composed, and do that dance that was taught to me. It doesn’t matter to me HOW ridiculous you want me to act on stage, but as long as I am doing what the director or the script told me, then I am fine. You see that way I don’t feel judged. 🙂

  • Lauren @ i had a big lunch February 25, 2016, 10:02 am

    Life is so fucking messy. I hate when people try to act like it isn’t. Everyone tries to hold their shit together and then lets it all out once every six months in a drunken sob session — that’s where our society has come to haha instead of just owning up to their crazy lives from the beginning. At first I was reading your notes and I was like am I drunk for not being able to read this? Nope, she is. Hahaha

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 6:19 pm

      Lauren you are so right! I think especially in North America, we are all so ALONE. ISOLATED. We’re taught to hold it all together and pretend that everything is fine and then like pressure cookers, we end up puking expensive wine and food court Korean food by ourselves wearing our nicest underwear.

  • Heather@hungryforbalance February 25, 2016, 10:10 am

    At least you have an excuse for the typos. I haven’t been drunk in a few months now and typos are a daily problem for me. I’m also intrigued by the asparagus pee post. Soon, yes?
    My truth would be that I had a health scare this week and it made me see how selfishly I live my life. I’m afraid that the person my family would remember would not be the best version of myself.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 6:17 pm

      Asparagus pee post coming down the chute.

      It’s interesting how you have been thinking about how you’d be remembered if you died because that’s exactly what’s been on my mind this week too. I ran into a friend of mine on my run yesterday (Bev) and that’s what we talked about! We know so many people who have either passed away recently or have been diagnosed with serious illnesses and it just slaps me upside the head because I need to live my life as if it’s ME NEXT. Not in a dismal depressing way but as a thoughtful and care full way.

      I’m glad your health scare was just a scare. I need you.

  • Nikki @ will run for pizza February 25, 2016, 11:30 am

    ASPARAGUS PEE!!! omg its REAL. wwwwwhhhhyyyyy does it have to smell so bad?! And be so bright first thing in the morning?!
    Put me on the spot, I freeze. Haha. You ask what I’m thinking right now or what I would say, and I’d have nothin’. Lol. Um, I could go for some pizza and wine?? I hate this job so bad I wonder what Phil would do if I walked out?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 25, 2016, 5:56 pm

      Oooooooooh your last thought was so provocative! Do you *really* wonder what Phil would do if you walked out? What’s your best guess? I’m curious!

  • Allison February 26, 2016, 5:31 am

    First of all, TheatreSports sounds awesome. I wish we had something like that around here. Second, your last paragraph cracked me up. You should always drink everything out of a cat mug. I’m also angry at my husband right now but I don’t know if he would realize it if I hid his wedding ring. He’s an electrician so he really can’t wear it to work so it might take him a few days, haha!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com February 26, 2016, 7:34 am

      Andrew used to be an electrician! I think we’ve gone through this already. Ha! I keep forgetting.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets March 1, 2016, 3:46 am

    I’d say…right now I’m tired and cranky and it’s only 6 in the morning. I had a shitty day at work yesterday, followed by a restless nights sleep due to the same and then the inevitable 2:30 a.m. wake up call for work. I’m excited for my maternity leave for the simple fact I won’t have to work. Sad, but true.

    Also I think Oscar is in heat. He’s acting like a mad man.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 1, 2016, 6:27 pm

      He’s probably feeding off of your backed up energy.

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