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The Holy Train

I still want that sub-3 marathon, in case you guys were wondering but felt too awkward to ask although I’d hope you’d know me well enough by now that no question is too squirmy for this old girl. I feel it evolving within me, you know? It started as a teeny tiny snowball and as each day rolls into the next that sub-3 dream of mine pulls up what it needs as it gathers speed and momentum, as it grows and moves along and gets primed and ready for its execution. Mark my words. It’ll happen.

People often ask me what I’m training for and for the last few months I really haven’t been able to give them much of an answer…until now. Because today while I was hammering out some sanity miles on the gym treadmill, I forced myself to go within and ask why I was doing this? Why do I go to all this effort to fit in my run each day, especially when I have nothing to train for?

Because running feeds my vessel, the heart, whatever you want to call it found deep within my human spirit that produces the energy I need to make healthy, wise and loving choices. If I were an artist and someone asked me to create grace, I’d sculpt a runner. Wobbly bits, messy hair, tear-stained cheeks, whatever. It’s where I find my flow. It’s where the vent between me and Other is unobstructed. It’s the three days between the cross and the empty tomb.

My sub-3 isn’t my everything. Running isn’t my everything. But running helps me get close, just close enough to feel renewed, born again, ready for anything.

When people ask me what I’m training for, I’ll tell them I’m training for living.



{ 21 comments… add one }
  • Meredith @ the cookie chrunicles January 18, 2017, 2:41 pm

    And you know I agree! Of course races are great to train for but the majority of the time, I just run because it’s my thing. My time. What makes me happy.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 18, 2017, 2:54 pm

      Jazz hands all OVER the place.

  • Megan @ Meg Go Run January 18, 2017, 2:54 pm

    ME TOO!!!!

    I know I’ll race again and set big goals again, but most of the time, I just run because I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. 🙂

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 18, 2017, 5:34 pm

      I love the race you did with your dad last weekend (or was it the weekend before last?). Stuff like that is what makes life great.

  • Gretchen January 18, 2017, 4:01 pm

    I love this. Running represents so much more to me than just racing or getting a trophy. It’s become a way of life for me and I truly think it makes me a better person, coworker, wife, daughter, and dog mom. I can only imagine how much it helps you when you have 100x’s the craziness that I have! Plus, let’s just be honest, it gives me a cute butt too.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 18, 2017, 5:33 pm

      Running took AWAY my cute butt! I used to have a soccer butt (bubble butt). Oh well!

  • Lisa @ Mile by Mile January 18, 2017, 4:25 pm

    I feel the same way about running right now! I dont feel like I need a race to keep me motivated, I just know what running does for me and thats enough to get me out the door.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 18, 2017, 5:32 pm

      And also, running has taught you a whole lot about your body, about what needs strengthening and what needs flexibility. You’ve been going down a long road but your perseverance has paid off.

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes January 18, 2017, 4:46 pm

    I saw a quote once on Instagram that said “running doesn’t define you – it refines you.” I ran for 6 years before I ever raced, and I did so for many reasons – exercise, managing my period problems and health, stress relief, me time, creativity, – for becoming a better person. No race time would ever be worth an injury or overtraining to me, because it’s the daily ritual of running that matters more.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 18, 2017, 5:31 pm

      I love the positive spin that quote puts on the art of running. Like anything, it sure is a fine balance between using and abusing though, eh? Which is why I’m using this “off” time to do a self check and make sure I’m using running, not abusing it. Love that quote so much. I’ll have to remember it. Thank you!

  • Susie @ Suzlyfe January 19, 2017, 3:42 am

    I say the same thing. I’m training for life. For myself, though, it isn’t quite so much because running is my lifeline mentally, but because it is my lifeline physically. It is what proves to me that my body is healthy and working, at least when it comes to Crohn’s. Also, without it, I can’t poop and that is just obnoxious.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 19, 2017, 11:09 am

      These next couple of weeks are going to be a bit of a… struggle for you then, since you can’t run, eh? Msg me on FB! I love poo stories.

  • Amy Lauren January 19, 2017, 6:19 am

    I love reading your posts about running and agree, you do not have to race all the time to be a runner or enjoy it! Besides, you make the most of when you do race (me, I just run all the races haha). I know you will get that sub-3 someday!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 19, 2017, 11:08 am

      I wonder if I would run more races if we had more available around here! I think you guys have a flourishing running community down there with a lot of racing opportunities. I don’t blame you one bit for taking adavantage of that, especially after seeing all the post-race food choices you have! I’m jealous!

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home January 19, 2017, 11:32 am

    Since my diagnosis with RA, running means more to me than ever. While I love to race, right now I wouldn’t care if I ever raced again. I just want to run.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 19, 2017, 12:09 pm

      Yeah, nothing like a little adversity to give us perspective. I hear ya.

  • Ana January 19, 2017, 12:23 pm

    I love that !! Training for life! This reminds me of the one time I fell asleep, and I was supposed to pickup my son after school. I woke up 3 minutes before he was let out of school, and flew there on my car. When I got to school, I had to park far away, bc all the close spot were taken. I ran that .50 mile faster than I had ever ran in my life! I told Roger that is what I train for, to run as fast as possible to my son’s school.

    How is the PF? Are you still having pain?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 19, 2017, 7:13 pm

      Ah yes, the panicky run late for school pickup story. We all have one of those. It’s classic. Ha ha!

      I love that you asked me about my PF! I’ve been having it non-stop since it started, but it doesn’t hurt when I run so I’m fine with it. I wear my Birkenstocks around the house 24/7, and I’ve been managing it alright!

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets January 19, 2017, 4:07 pm

    Well said. For real, this post was pretty awesome. I loved the metaphors tossed around like singles at a titty bar.

  • Russ January 20, 2017, 7:05 am

    Love this! I’m currently in the midst of seeking what I am training for next – I guess it’s living for me too. Without it, I think I’d be lost.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com January 20, 2017, 7:48 am

      Thanks Russ! Keep me posted on what you decided to race!

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