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The Ride

Most (not all) people with bipolar disorder tend to have trouble accepting their diagnosis. They will often go on their meds which help to stabilize their moods and then they get bored as fuck because they’re so used to the rush of mania.

Andrew recently posted this meme on Facebook and I love him for it:

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Bipolar people are my favourite kinds of people because life is never dull. It’s never dull, and I’m the type of person that is strong and secure enough to roll with it and learn new things, acquire new tools and skills and enjoy the personal growth that accompanies such challenges.

When I dated Jason in high school, I told my grad class that if Jason ever changed his mind, that I’d go for Chris Farley. And if he didn’t make it through the night then I’d hunt down Jim Carey, who also had bipolar disorder.

There should be a quote out there that goes like this: Bipolar Disorder comes, straight-arms all of life’s annoying preconceived notions and prejudices, gets Jesus to turn the water into wine and the pantsuits into sultry sundresses, gets everyone knocked up, and leaves. In a hot air balloon. To a country made of cotton candy. Promising to return with millions of dollars, an expensive pair of perfectly fitted jeans and a deep freeze full of organic free range chicken.

See how easy it is to love them?

The water into wine gets me every single time.

It’s common for people with bipolar disorder to quit their meds, chase their mania (it feels amazing) and end up in hospital again. Totally and completely normal. As normal as it would be for a kid with asthma to end up in emerg a few times after a tough soccer game or a track meet.

Eventually, so I’m told, we all (hopefully) get to the point where we accept the situation we are in (whatever sitch that may be) and we are able to move forward. Sometimes it takes a while, maybe even some back roads and a hot air balloon ride or two but eventually, we’ll get there. And we’ll have fun doing it.

Have you ever been in a hot air balloon?

Would you rather have one really nice pair of perfectly fitting jeans, or a deep freeze filled with organic free range chicken?

{ 12 comments… add one }
  • Megan @ Meg Go Run November 1, 2016, 1:58 pm

    I haven’t talked to my friend with bipolar since the pool incident… she hasn’t emailed me back but I’m hoping she will when she’s feeling better. No way will never go in a hot air balloon!!! I don’t even like to fly!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 1, 2016, 6:40 pm

      I was actually going to message you about her today. I feel bad that I didn’t but I’m glad you updated me! You’re a strong and loving person and I have no doubt she’s so thankful to have you in her life, even if she doesn’t show it. You gotta just trust me on that one. Hold strong and wait for her, with healthy boundaries in place. Xo

      No hot air balloon for me either. That’s just bullshit.

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home November 1, 2016, 5:04 pm

    I went to college with Chris Farley. Back then, we didn’t think he was funny, we thought he was an asshole. You know, a drunken coed like the rest of us. We were at a bar one night and he and his friends were “muff diving”. He bit me in the butt and left a mark that lasted for days. I don’t remember it all but I guess we had words…

    It’s my claim to fame…

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 1, 2016, 6:38 pm

      I loved his acting. Absolutely loved it. I didn’t know him as a person, though. It’s easy for me to say that I’d do anything to have met him, but I’m sure back then it didn’t feel very good to you.

  • Lisa @ Mile by Mile November 2, 2016, 1:59 am

    I can’t imagine the feeling of taking meds that end up making you not really feel like yourself. Even though they help in many was I am sure that it’s a strange feeling and it makes sense that people would have a hard time committing to them. Even the kids I worked with would cheek them if they didnt like how they felt on them!
    I’ve never been in a hot air balloon…and I don’t think I would want to be!

  • Allie Capo-Burdick November 2, 2016, 3:06 am

    I’m afraid to fly so no hot air balloon rides for me! And the jeans, 100% the jeans!!!!
    And I’m laughing over Wendy’s comment!! That woman is just FULL of surprises 🙂 As are you… xoxo

  • Susie @ SuzLyfe November 2, 2016, 3:55 am

    Feels. I don’t have bipolar, but I know what it is like to not feel like yourself, or that you have any control over it, or any idea when the “off” ness will stop.

    I would take the jeans because I can always eat fish.

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes November 2, 2016, 5:30 am

    I can imagine it’s difficult to stay on medication when you don’t feel right on it. A lot of medicine seems like a catch 22: you deal with illness off of it but sucky side effects on it.
    I would take the chicken because my mind revolves around food at this point of marathon training.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets November 2, 2016, 9:16 am

    I would much rather have a pair of perfectly fitted jeans. Hell I’ll even take moderately fitted these days.

    I want to go to this Cotton Candy country. I feel like it would be my happy place.

  • San November 2, 2016, 9:31 am

    I think the hardest part is to understand what is ‘normal’ and what isn’t. If you’ve been on this roller coaster ride for so long, it’s hard to relate to what the baseline is supposed to be…. and often the meds have horrible side effects, so they make one thing (the flying off in a hot air balloon go away) but you’re dealing with side effects instead. Not a great trade off, but sometimes the necessary evil.

  • Una November 2, 2016, 11:26 pm

    Always the jeans. Fuck the chicken. The organic industry is all a scam anyways and my deep freezer is full and needs defrosting.

    I recently switched meds because my old scrip made me feel too level, too numb. I’m an intense person, so to just coast along in the middle of the road didn’t feel right, didn’t feel like me. With my new medication, I’m more emotional but this is who I am, love it or leave it.

    I definitely want to go up in a hot air balloon!! I’m terrified of heights but I would love the thrill!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com November 3, 2016, 7:57 am

      That’s the thing. I remember taking Paxil and it was just way too numbing. The whole world could die around me and I’d be like, meh. I need a snack.

      It’s more important to find a balance and keep the good parts of our personalities, even if we can be a little…. .intense…. 😉

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