The holidays can be pretty stressful for pretty much anyone, but for some reason, people who struggle with mental illnesses/imbalances tend to unravel faster than the toilet paper roll the morning after a biggie turkey dinner brussel sprouts splatter. I’m not exactly sure why, you know, on a psycho-cellular level, but I can tell you that it’s true. Well, it’s true in my world anyway.
That being said, this Christmas was probably the most peaceful Christmas I’ve had in years. Years and years and years. Which is funny, really, because on paper, it should have been shitty. There are all sorts of issues going on behind the scenes with kids, exes, medical stuff, school struggles, all on top of the regular stresses that come along with life. But I think I found the secret, and it worked, so I want to share it with you guys so that maybe it might help you too.
On December 19th, on the Monday of the week leading up to Christmas, Andrew and I sat down for drinks together and talked about how we were going to make it through the holidays alive. We decided that the best chance of a peaceful Christmas would be if each of us thought of the other person first. It sounds simple, but for us arrogant assholes, it’s not. It took effort, and when family gatherings and Christmas shopping and all the other bullshit that comes with holidaying took up all the energy in our cold little love tanks, we could barely squeeze out enough fucks to give for thinking of the other person before ourselves.
But, like how love always works, letting go always brought back more than what we were worried about losing.
We vowed to each other that whenever we felt like we were starting to get triggered, we’d reach over and hold each other’s hands, or be in each other’s arms, because connection has a way of melting away the static. Even if we were mad, or annoyed, or too tired, we’d remember how important and powerful our love is and we’d reach over anyway, and it worked!
We don’t have any plans at all today really, besides driving the kids here and there and the regular feeding, cleaning and laundry stuff but it feels so good to just chillax and look back at how well we loved each other and our family over the last couple of weeks. I think we need to reward ourselves with a quick pop over to Sneakers for a drinkypoo this afternoon.
I’d ask you what I should order for drinks at Sneakers but you know I’ll just have a Ceasar anyway.
Any holiday survival tips you acquired this season that you want to remember to apply next year?