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When Grace Runs Out, Find a Driver

About a year ago, or maybe even more, I got off the phone with my sister Tracey and my cheeks were burning; she had vented some frustration to me over my seemingly endless and nauseating amounts of grace and forgiveness. She had reached her max as far as extending grace to people in her own life and she called me up needing an accomplice, not a counselor.

Months later, I get it. I feel like I’ve woken up in the same way that I woke up when I heard my dad say, “Suzy thinks she can save the world.” So last Friday night when I called Tracey, she knew I needed an accomplice. Well, and I pretty much stated exactly what I planned to do and what time she should meet me and where. “I’ll bring the can of tuna,” I told her and she replied with, “I’ll be the driver.”

I ran out of grace.

Of course I’m not going to smear tuna under the driver’s side handle of anyone’s car door, and of course I’m not going to list off all the horrible injustices that have been done to me because a) I’d open up a can of something a lot worse than tuna and b) I’d probably get my ass sued faster than I can hide my huge hair behind a parked car. But mostly I’m not going to be an asshole in return because it makes me feel good to not be an asshole, and I like making myself feel good (what’s a post without a double entendré?!).

It’s not about grace. Because being gracious would mean being forgiving, moving toward the assholes, allowing them to move toward me, sharing a meal with them without secretly putting pubic hair into their spaghetti sauce, things like that. No. No no no. Grace is lovely. Grace is strong. Grace is a gift, it’s a champion, it’s beautiful. But sometimes it runs out, and that’s okay.

Or maybe that’s just what grace is: not putting pubic hair into someone’s spaghetti sauce.

Do you have any good revenge stories?

Do you know how to speak Pig Latin?

Tracey is going to get me back for this… <3 <3


{ 20 comments… add one }
  • San March 29, 2017, 5:01 pm


    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 29, 2017, 7:02 pm

      I got the book!!!!

  • Susie @ Suzlyfe March 29, 2017, 5:47 pm

    I’m trying to have grace right now, but mostly for myself, right now. That said? I’m starting to run out of grace for others. I’ve give them far too much of the stuff for a long while.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 29, 2017, 7:02 pm

      That’s the boat I’m rocking, too.

  • Helly March 29, 2017, 7:27 pm

    I seriously was going to call you the other day because I was running out of fucks and shit was about to go down. I had a feeling you’d be down to drive.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 29, 2017, 7:32 pm

      You know me SO well. I LOVE IT.

  • Stephanie March 29, 2017, 8:17 pm

    I speak what I think is fluent pig Latin. I’m kinda proud of it 🙂 I love this post, it made me realize how important my ‘driver’ is and maybe I sometimes take for granted that she has my back.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 8:06 am

      Awe, go show her some love!!!

  • Allie Capo-Burdick March 30, 2017, 2:45 am

    Everyone needs an accomplice who will drive at a moment’s notice so I am so happy to see you have yours! Sadly, I don’t think I have a good revenge story but, if I thought on it, I bet I could come up with something…

    And no, my kids speak pig latin and I haven’t a clue what they are saying ?

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 8:06 am

      That’s funny that your kids know it and you don’t!

  • meredith (The Cookie ChRUNicles March 30, 2017, 3:13 am

    I have an amazing group of friends that are totally my partners in crime but one friend in particular, is always ready with the car running if you know what I mean lol. In fact, we didn’t meet until AFTER the major stuff in my divorce went down and we always say it’s a good thing because we aren’t sure what she would have done if she knew me then lol. for a long time, I was about revenge. my friend’s would google revenge ideas during my divorce (we came up on a google about putting shrimp in someone’s curtains, google it lol). until one day, we said – my happiness is my best revenge. and it stuck with me, and landed me on the Dr. Oz show for revenge after divorce. It’s not always easy but the high road is best.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 8:06 am

      Yeah, maybe it’s a good thing you guys didn’t meet until after HA! And yes, of course, the high road. But we sure do need someone to listen to all of the alternatives. It feels so good to let ‘er rip sometimes.

  • Wendy@Taking the Long Way Home March 30, 2017, 5:36 am

    Iay amyay uentflay enyay igpay atinlay.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 7:54 am

      Ha ha ha! Same.

  • Laura @ This Runner's Recipes March 30, 2017, 5:57 am

    I was thinking, there are far worse things you could put on a car handle than tuna! Grace runs out sometimes but it replenishes. I don’t have any good revenge stories and I don’t speak pig Latin – I’m a bit boring!

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 7:48 am

      Tuna would be great because it would make the person’s fingers smell like fish all day! But it’s not disturbing like poo or dead skunk. Tuna stays on this side of the line of not totally deranged. I think it’s brilliant.

  • Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets March 30, 2017, 11:38 am

    I’ll drive your getaway car any day. Once (ok maybe more like a handful of times), I’ve egged houses, and one time (truly one time) I milked a car (the store was out of eggs). I also put someone’s toiletries (make up etc) in their shower and turned it on. Oh and I got in a fistfight with a guy for ripping the Hubby’s shirt. That was a long time ago though. I’d like to think I’ve got a little more grace these days. Then again… 😉

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 5:37 pm

      I knew you were golden. I just knew it. I couldn’t fight my way out of a wet paper bag but actually, if I could only learn how to get my leg muscles behind my punches then maybe I could do a little damage.

  • Gretchen March 30, 2017, 3:12 pm

    I am the worst with this. Dan calls it being the devils advocate at all times..I’m always sympathizing with the other side and it comes out as me being against him. Sometimes you just have to stop and listen and that’s all they want, not a solution.

    • suzy.suzyheather@gmail.com March 30, 2017, 5:36 pm

      Yup, totally. And I’m such a fixer. I haaaaate sitting around and thinking about what should be done–I just want to DO IT. I’m a bit hasty and impulsive but hey! At least life isn’t boring and something gets done.

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