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Mileage Monday/Week in Review

Hey guys! The grandparents took Callum for the day today so I have a bit more time to write, so I thought I’d add in a few details to this post and make it a combined Week in Review (hosted by my home girl Meghan from Clean Eats Fast Feets) post as well as a Mileage Monday post.

First of all, I hit 70 miles for the week which isn’t an all-time high or anything (I hit an 80 mile week when I was 20-something weeks pregnant!) but I did do the toughest, longest run I’ve done in a very long time. It’s been at least a year. So, I am really happy about that. Here’s how my running went:

Monday– Went out for 8, came back with 10. It was windy, but not enough to kill me. Rainy, but just in sprinkles. I figured that this type of weather is about as good as it’s going to get for the next few months, so I had better make the best of it. I would have gone longer but my legs are still tired from the 16 miler on the weekend.

Tuesday– 7 miles in the morning pushing Jesse in the stroller while Callum was at preschool and then 4 therapy miles at night after the kids were in bed! I haven’t run in the dark in forever and tbh it was a little spooky after all the recent events around here.

Wednesday– I managed to squeak in this 8 mile treadmill run this morning, 7:30 pace at 0.5% incline). SUCH A BUSY DAY.

Thursday– Just a slowish 9 mile run on the treadmill while Callum was at preschool and Jesse was napping.

Friday– 7 easy slow treadmill miles

Saturday– This was the toughest workout I’ve done in I don’t know how long. A couple of years? Something like that. I’m about a week ahead in my marathon training plan (I like being a week ahead just in case something happens) and it called for an 18 mile long run with 10 miles at goal marathon race pace (6:50) so I did 18 miles with 11 miles at an average 6:46 min/mile pace! I finished feeling strong and empowered, and a little bit sore and creaky but nothing like I thought I would be!

Sunday– Just an easy 7 miles listening to the Rich Roll podcast where he interviews Lance Armstrong. I highly recommend.

And here are a few pictures from the week.

My mom came over to play trains with Callum and to snuggle Jesse.

I bought matching pajamas for the boys (and now Katie is convincing me to get us all matching jammies…)

Jesse is fighting for Callum’s spot in Katie’s arms.

We did a lot of painting this week.

Melody lives in Indonesia so sometimes she and Tracey and I have drinks and group chat and one of them sent me this old photo of us, and I have dreads!

I decided to show you guys what my hair looks like now when I brush it out.

I finally hung this piece of art on my wall. I am OBSESSED with it. If you guys want one for yourself, head on over to my friend Joel’s instagram account @joelsmiths13 and check out his photography! That guy is talented. And, Canadian. Yay.

Also, my anxiety has been way better and I’ve been sleeping great but this post from the Scary Mommy account is still so true and made me laugh!

Okay, all done. I hope you guys had a good week!

Do you brush your hair?

I don’t. Contrary to what you might think, my hair doesn’t get tangled.

Matching pajamas? Yay or nay?



We Canadians already had our Thanksgiving and now that Halloween is over, we’re ready to dive into the Christmas season. Well, not yet, but close. It’s definitely time to start thinking about planning family gatherings, what to buy the kids, you know, things THAT TOTALLY STRESS ME OUT.

I’m not an easy-going person. I may come across that way in person but I am most certainly compensating for the TOTAL AND COMPLETE NEUROTIC FREAK THAT I AM ON THE INSIDE.

When my oldest three kids were about say, ten, eight and five, we had the Nintendo Wii video game system. We’d play it together in the basement and that’s when my boys taught me the term rage-quit. It’s when you flip shit and quit mid-game. When I was little, I’d straight-arm the Monopoly board and, with my Julia Roberts forehead vein flashing, yell, “THERE. NOBODY WINS. NOBODY.” And then I’d streak out of the room, hands covering my face, tears streaming down onto the plush peach carpeting. That? Is a rage-quit.

I’d like to rage-quit Christmas, and it’s only the middle of November.



Side Order of Flies

I was doing my long run on Saturday and my usual route takes me along the farm road that runs parallel to the freeway. For the most part, it’s flat and straight with blankets of farmland, rows upon rows of soil funneling life from the snow-capped mountains jutting out from behind. On this particular day, a truck from behind me, traveling in the same direction, he in the right lane and I on the left shoulder, gently swerved over onto my side. I couldn’t believe it!

Most of the time people give me a wide berth which is so nice, but a lot of the time they don’t even move over an inch. But never has it happened where someone actually drives over toward me like that. I assumed the driver was doing it to get a rise out of me and I immediately felt angry. And then? I noticed he took a wide right hand turn down his private farm road around a giant mess of dead raccoon.

It wasn’t about me at all.

When it feels like people are out to get us, most often, they’re simply avoiding their own giant mess of dead racoon.


Mileage Monday

Hey guys! I’m so happy. <—the wine talking. I hit 76 miles for the week which is my highest mileage week since I was in my second trimester aaaaaand, I hit my highest mileage run in forever (16 miles).

There are so many women I follow on Instagram that inspire me like WHOA. But one woman, her name is Laura, she posted something this week about how she got emotional during a treadmill run at the gym. She started thinking about her goals, her upcoming running endeavors and then just felt that rush, you know? And I felt it too, during my run on Saturday! I don’t always feel that rush and to be honest, it’s quite rare. But when it happens, I feel like the queen of the frigging WORLD.

Anyway, here’s how it all went down.

Oh, and I also have a couple of posts I’ve been working on, so it’s not all Mileage Monday up in here.

Monday– I wanted to do a bit of a workout but not too much so that I’d get injured after the tempo on Saturday and not so I’d get tired for my next tempo. 10 total miles with the first 2 at 8 min pace, 2 at 7:40 pace, 2 at 7:30 pace, 1 at 7:13 pace, 1 at 6:58 pace, and then a 2 mile cool-down at 8:30 pace!

Tuesday– 10 miles in the morning on the treadmill at 1% incline at an 8:15 pace, and then 4 miles with Andrew in the afternoon!

Wednesday– Just an easy treadmill run at 8:30 pace for 10 miles.

Thursday– Well, this workout was supposed to be a 9 mile run incorporating a 4 mile tempo at goal half marathon race pace (which I did 2 weeks ago in the middle of my long run with Lora). But, I couldn’t quite do it. Callum went to preschool, and I took Jesse on a 3 mile stroller run as a warm-up and then I put him down for a nap and hit the treadmill. I got to 2.17 miles (out of 4) and pressed the stop button. I let myself regroup for 90 seconds and then hopped back on. I got to 3 miles (out of 4) and hopped back off to regroup for 90 seconds. Hopped back on, and took another 90 second break at 3.5 miles. Once I hit 4, I decided that I’d keep running half mile repeats until I hit 5 miles at tempo pace because if I couldn’t do 4 consecutive miles at that pace, I could certainly “punish” myself with a couple more intervals. So, 10 total miles for the day with 5 done at 6:30 min/mile pace.

Friday– My sister and her husband came over last night for drinks, so we stayed up too late and messed up the kids’ sleep patterns, and then paid for it dearly today. I got 3 slow miles on the treadmill before Jesse woke up and then when Andrew came home, I headed out for a slow 5 miler to make 8 for the day.

Saturday– This is the longest run I’ve done in probably a year! The goal was 16 miles with half of them at 8:20 pace and the latter half at 7:40, and I nailed it! 8:20 right on the nose and then 7:30. YEAH!

Sunday– I met Lora for 8 torrential rainy miles!

Do you guys deal with road kill on the regular, or is it a rare occurrence?

Do you have any leftover Halloween candy? What do you eat first? Last?

Favourite sex position?


Mileage Monday

I think it’s a combination of being on the west coast and being in Canada, but we didn’t get the New York City marathon coverage up here! I watched Shalane Flanagan’s finish on YouTube, several times, and it had me in happy tears. She wasn’t expected to win, so I loved watching her pull away from the lead women and break the tape. I may have loved her, “Fuck YES!” exclamation the very most, as she ate up the last few steps of victory.

My “Fuck yes” comes in the form of surviving the course of this last week. We had Halloween, which is always a giant pain in the ass (I am NOT a fan), and then we had a young man end his life in a very wide open and public form so that all the high and middle schoolers walking to school the morning after Halloween could see, and be traumatized from, two of which were my own kids, which made for a very heavy day, night, and week. We had flu shots, which was good, and then just he regular busyness of life, which is fine, which I do enjoy.

When I was a kid, when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I’d tell them that I wanted to be an air traffic controller. I chose it because I had heard that it was/is the most stressful job out there. Now, obviously I didn’t go that route but this week, as my mind, body and heart ached from the exhaustion of fielding so many things from so many people all day and all night long, I thought to myself, well, well, well. Isn’t this interesting. Suzy the air traffic controller. Fitting, hey? Yeah. I thought so.

I’ll stop whining like a ninny. I ran a 70 mile week last week, and here’s how it went down:

Monday– I thought today’s run would feel terrible after yesterday’s tempo run but it actually felt not only good, but great! My legs felt a little bit sore but not dead, if that makes sense. Last Monday they felt like tanker trucks. I squeaked out a 10 mile run with a combination of running along and running with the stroller once Andrew left for his kids’ soccer practices.

Tuesday– A straight up 9 mile stroller run with Jesse while Callum was in preschool.

Wednesday– A crazy day. I got 6 miles done on the treadmill in the morning and then Freddy babysat Callum while I ran 4 miles outside with Jesse.

Thursday– 9 miles with the stroller (and Jesse) while Callum was at preschool.

Friday– 4 miles on the treadmill while Jesse slept and then 5 miles outside when Andrew came home early from work! Woo hoo!

Saturday– I did 16 miles with 10 miles at 6:49 pace… in the blowing snow and wind. Rawr. The first 6 mile “warm”-up was pushing Jesse in the stroller (I bundled him up and put the plastic cover over the BOB) and then I fed him, then did my 10 miler outside by myself.

Sunday– Just 7 easy miles to make it a 70 mile week!

What is your latest, “Fuck yes!” about? What would you like to say, “Fuck yes!” about soon, or one day down the road?

What did you want to be when you grew up? Is it similar to what you are doing now?




Mileage Monday

Well, if I round up, I made it to 69 miles for the week which is quite scandalous. In all honesty though, I capped out at 68.65 miles which isn’t quite as exciting, but at 9 weeks postpartum, I’ll take what I can get.

This was my first official week of marathon training! I’m (loosely) using a plan out of my Advanced Marathoning book. The 2 main workouts this week were a 9 mile run with 4 miles at half marathon race pace (6:30) and a 15 mile long run. I (stupidly) combined the 2 on Sunday’s run and nearly crapped my pants. It was touch and go for about 2 miles and then it was just go.

Here’s how it went down.

Monday– Day after the long marathon race pace run. Sore. Heavy legs. Slow. Andrew was home with a sore back so I waited until Jesse was fast asleep and Callum was happily watching a show and then I headed out for 9 miles, except Jesse woke up so I turned around and came home early. But then he went back to sleep so I took Callum out on a stroller run to finish up my nine miler.

Tuesday– I ran 8 miles while pushing Jesse in the stroller while Callum was at preschool. It was SUCH a gorgeous day. We’re having amazing Fall weather!

Wednesday– Jesse had a crappy night’s sleep last night so he made up for it by having a really long nap this morning. I made use of it and ran 11 miles on the treadmill.

Thursday– A combination of treadmill running and pushing Jesse in the stroller to make 8 miles while Callum was at preschool.

Friday– Just a couple of treadmill runs fit in during the day at separate times while Jesse napped and Callum played beside me. I even dragged the swing into the garage for Jesse to nap in!

Saturday– I pushed Jesse in the stroller for 9 miles! He slept for the last 6. He loves the stroller. He is SO CUTE. This kid is a dream. He stares up at me and smiles away, looks around, and pretty much just loves life while we run along. Yay.

Sunday– I’d love to round this up, or even round it down, but I can’t do it. Because my life is so busy, I had to combine my 2 tough runs this week into one: I put the half marathon race pace tempo run inside my long run of 15 miles. I also wanted to run with Lora as we haven’t seen each other in forever, and it’s her 40th birthday tomorrow, and today was my only chance. So, I headed out for the tempo run first and did 1 mile warmup and 4 at 6:32 min/miles. The goal was 6:30, but it was CRAZY windy out. I don’t like to make excuses, but this was the type of wind that blew up gravel onto our shins so that every time a gust came, we had to stop and turn around for a few seconds. So, a 6:32 average is just fine with me! I worked harder than I would have on a non-windy day for a 6:30 average, if that makes sense. So hard, in fact, that I nearly crapped my pants and had to cut out to have a poop on the side of the road. I lost just over a mile there, (I let Lora go ahead and then went out to meet her, and came back with her), so I didn’t get the full 15 miles in (I capped out at 13.65) but that’s okay. The point of the long run is to teach the body to run on tired legs, and that is exactly what I did today. Goal accomplished.

So, it’s working out that once a week Andrew takes Jesse and Callum for me so that I can get my big workout run done. I usually keep the boys with me while he does the whole soccer thing with his older kids on the weekends, and then when he gets home, I take off. Thankfully, Jesse takes a bottle of pumped breastmilk so there’s not much worry there in regards to him missing a feeding, however, today was the longest I’ve been away from him (2.5 hours) and I think he maybe just panicked a little? Who knows what goes on in their little minds, right? So I got home, peeled off my sweaty clothes and gave him the boobie. He was SO happy. After he ate he just stared up at me and gave me the hugest smiles and talked away with all sorts of eyebrow raises and shoulder movements. I love this kid.

I’m typing this out while he sleeps on my chest. I’ve also got a (Canadian) beer beside me, and I’m about to nail down a bag of cheesies. Life is good.

Have you ever had Canadian beer? Do you like it? What kind? 

Do you know what cheesies are? Cheetos are a brand of cheesies. I think cheesies are a Canadian term. 

How old are you? 

I’m turning 40 in January!


For A Reason

Postpartum anxiety isn’t such a bad thing. I know, I know. It’s a crazy statement to make. But hold on! Think about how seemingly magical pregnancy and childbirth can be, right? All the systems and orders from the microscopic to the ordinary, from the smudged lipstick to the stitches, from the stretch marks to the stretched hearts.

So we sit perfectly poised in those satin covered dining chairs at the baby showers and we shake our heads and smile, we shrug, we don’t know how our hearts grew but they just did. We don’t know how we got through all that heartburn, that labour and delivery, but we did. We don’t know how we were/are able to bear such a love like this but we do, but meanwhile, as we’re scooping up our spinach dip and nibbling on our crustless egg salad sandwiches, our hormones are doing their own thing: they’re gathering their troops and preparing a savage takeover.

But you know what that looks like? Sleepless nights, panic attacks, dark thoughts that push through rationality like douchebags in a high school hallway.

Which sucks.

But just like loose joints open our hips for childbirth and breast engorgement works itself into a turkey dinner style meal for our babies, postpartum anxiety exists for a reason. While uncomfortable and downright painful, it serves to keep our babies alive. Because there is nothing more dangerous than a postpartum mother.



Mileage Monday

I managed 68 miles for the week despite another stressful several days dealing with viral vom, doctor appointments and a bout of mastitis (breast infection that is out of this WORLD painful). I’m not really sure how I got it all done. It feels like a blur.

Marathon training (Phoenix is my goal race in February) starts this week! I’m amazed and in awe of the human body, how it is able to adapt to stresses and perform at higher levels with each push. Just what like, 7 weeks ago? I could barely get through a couple of miles at goal race pace (sub 6:50 min/miles) and this week I hit my longest run (14 miles) with 10 of them at 6:48 pace. I don’t even feel like I’m bragging because it’s like, yeah sure, I get out there and do it but whatever created us made us in such a way that after we do the work, it heals us and grows us and makes us stronger, while we do nothing.

I sound high.

Here’s the breakdown of my week:

Monday– A mix of treadmill and stroller pushing to make 8 slow recovery miles.

Tuesday– 7 miles pushing Jesse in the stroller and then 4 treadmill miles at 7:49 pace.

Wednesday– I woke up with mastitis, but thankfully my doctor had prescribed me antibiotics ahead of time (because I get it all the time) so I started taking it right away and started to feel a bit better in the afternoon. So, because I’m stubborn, I went for a 6 mile run at an average 8 min/mile pace.

Thursday– I tried so hard to get Jesse to sleep while Callum was at preschool but he just wouldn’t go for it, so I pushed him in the stroller for a slow 5 miles, and then after preschool, I did some intervals (4 min hard, 2 min recovery) for 6 miles. Recovery was all done at 8:30 min/mile pace, and the hard intervals were done at 7:30, 7, 6:45 and 6:30.

Friday– It was a pro-D day for the kids so I had to wrangle this run together in pieces. I did 6 miles pushing Callum in the stroller and then 4 more miles on the treadmill inside while Jesse napped.

Saturday– Pushed the Jesse stroller for 8 miles in the rain!

Sunday– 1 warm-up mile, 10 miles at 6:48 min/miles, 3 cool-down miles.

I just ate butter chicken labeled “very spicy” so if I get the vom tonight, I will be feeling very unlucky and regretful.

Viral vom going around your ‘hood?

Anyone else getting flu shots?

Paperwork for 6 people is currently sitting in a pile on our kitchen counter beside the passport renewal applications.


The Meeting Place

I grew up at the foot of the cross. I did. And I spent the next zillion years memorizing scripture, singing really weird songs and turning the other cheek. I sound resentful about it but I’m actually not, I swear (not on the Bible, don’t worry, and not with the Lord’s name in vain lest I be succumbed to an eternity void of farmer sausage and urns of french vanilla decaf coffee).

I totally just forgot what I was going to write.

Oh yeah.

I’ve had a spiritual experience or two. I remember crying, repenting at Nanoose Bay Bible Camp when I was 13. For what, stealing lipstick? God knows I had a lot more to repent from in the years to come. But I mean, back then, with the preachers, the choirs, the emotions, they’d get to me. They’d really get to me, you know? They’d draw me in, circle my soul with their fingers, press in on the sore spots and before long I’d be on my knees. That draw, that pull, it was everywhere. Boyfriends, employers, random strangers. Fuck. It sucked.

As I near forty (in two months!!!), I’ve come to learn (the hard way) that church happens everywhere and anywhere, without discretion. When I run, especially outside and especially when I’m pushing my physical body to its limits in the same way I do when I give birth, or when I get through emotionally difficult times, the vent between me and Other is wide fucking open. She doesn’t just press in on my sore spots–He picks me up, saturates my being with every single healing potion on tap. I feel it all. Soothed, energized, cradled, elevated. I haul ass along the side of that freeway and I stare straight into the eyes of the Divine. Locked in. We nod. We’ve got this.

It is finished, but it’s not the end.



Coming Up

You guys. For real. I miss writing so much. In fact, I feel like I lost a bit of myself when I stopped. For so long I really assumed that it was running I couldn’t live without but now? I’m not so sure. Running gets out my physical angst but it’s here, the keys, the screen, my head tilted to the right, my brow furrowed, the latest Sam Smith song pulsing through my earbuds on repeat, a candle or incense burning beside me, a bleeding mug of wine, my fingers knocking on the door of my heart, extending outward, beckoning, and pushing, keeping the balance.

I had the chance to sit down and write now, because Jesse was fussy all day and finally settled in for a long nap, and Callum caught the latest virus and has been quarantined to the couch. I had my 6-week postpartum OBGYN apt today (at 7 weeks postpartum, no less) and I thought I’d celebrate this rainy day with a 3pm glass of wine, because silence like this never happens.

No, it never happens.

I was taught to never use the terms “never” or “always” but I’m swearing to you right now that silence never fucking happens. There. I made a new rule. I can only use the terms “never” or “always” if I tag it with “fucking.”

Truth. Preach it, Suzy. Preach.

I have so much in my brain. I have so much to write that it feels disabling. Does that ever happen to you? So, maybe this post is just a foot in the door. I’m cracking it open, having a boo, taking a whiff of the fresh air and then stepping back inside for a bit. But I’ll come back. I have to. I’m bleeding out and it’s gotta go somewhere.

What have you sworn you’d “never” do, and you did? Or didn’t? Or haven’t yet?