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Week in Review

Weh heh heh hell…. what do we have here? Another week gone by and a new one upon us like a fresh snowfall. Yes. More snow, and more snow on tap for late next week which would occur in the month of March. MARCH. SNOW IN MARCH IS WRONG. Actually, you know what? I just remembered! That it was snowing three years ago when I was in labour with Callum! It’s his third birthday this Friday, and he’s demanding a silver cake with pink icing adorned with Peppa and George, two characters from his favourite show “Peppa Pig.” I’m not sure if I can swing the silver part, but I’ll make sure to keep you guys posted on how it goes in next week’s Week in Review. But for now, here’s this week’s Week in Review hosted by my friend Meghan from Clean Eats Fast Feets. Right after I show you a quick photo of cute little Callum when he was so little!

I trekked the kids out to Freddy’s soccer practice on Wednesday night, and Katie had so much fun playing with Callum, goofing around and stealing my phone to take pictures.

This is one I took of them kissing through the window:

I brought Callum (and Katie helped me) to an indoor play place where Callum had the time of his life. He has never slept so solidly as he did that night. The kids didn’t have school on Friday so after doing a few errands, I brought Freddy, Katie and Callum to the zoo. These are a couple of shots that Katie took with her phone. She’s a pretty good photographer!

My favourites are always, hands down, the cats. This one was licking her paw. Sigh…

The park at the zoo is pretty good too. Katie and Freddy showed Callum how he can swing from side to side. Oh the joys of having much older siblings!

Even though it was sunny out, it was still super cold, even snowing overnight a few times!

Here’s a throwback picture of the three of them:

Callum and I had a much-needed restful weekend together. We hung out at the park, picked up some bubbles and puzzles and man, I just really enjoyed being with him. He’s got such a big personality, a little wild sometimes, but an empath at heart. He reminds me a lot of Jake.

I caught a couple of pictures of him right after he snatched my hat off my head!

Now it’s Sunday night and Callum just came out of the bath and we’re snuggling in bed eating Caramilk Easter eggs. Hopefully, Spring is just around the corner.

I think I’ve been asking you guys this question every week. What has YOUR weather been like? Check out our upcoming forecast:

Do you wear hats?

Have you ever had a dream that you were an animal?

Did you do anything phat last week?



Mileage Monday

I had a really great week of running last week. Not only that, but I’ve been getting stronger with my strength work and I think it’s time for me to move up from my 15lb weights to 20lb weights! I’ve also added 10lb leg weights while I do my leg/glute stuff, and I need to move up to a heavier weight with those too.

I had another 70 mile week. I know, I know… a far cry from 50. But dayammmmnnn…. I love mileage. Here’s how it went down:

Monday– This morning I pushed Callum in the stroller for 5 super hilly miles with a stop at the park at around mile 3. Then in the evening, I sipped on a strong black coffee while I gave him a bath and then I ran 7 miles once he went to sleep. I did 3 tempo miles in the middle at 6:40 min/mile pace. It felt really good but I’m hoping I’ll be able to sleep tonight!

Tuesday– I got up at 5am and couldn’t go back to sleep, so I ran 15 miles!

Wednesday– Just an easy 6 miles on the treadmill before a busy day.

Thursday– I woke up at 4:45 and couldn’t get back to sleep so I decided to get up and have some coffee! I did a slow 6 miles while listening to podcasts and then I ran 4 miles on the treadmill after a strong coffee in the afternoon!

Friday– The kids had a day off from school today so I squeezed in 5 miles early this morning before anyone woke up and then another 5 on the treadmill after everyone went to bed!

Saturday– I got up earrrrrrrly to drive Jake to work and since the sun was coming up, I decided to just slog through a 10 miler. I passed a manure-spreader spreading fresh manure all over the field, like, 3 metres away from where I was running. IT WAS SICK. And not “sick” as in “cool” but “sick” as in “vomitrocious.”

Sunday– I wanted to run more, but I thought it would be a little extreme to go OVER 70 miles this week so I just did 7 outside after I brought Jake to work.

What’s your latest song obsession? 

I’m loving Selena Gomez’ “It Ain’t Me.” The beat matches my footfalls perfectly while I’m running a 6:40 pace.

Which words do you use instead of “cool” or “awesome?” 

Dope. Sick. Phat. Pote. Actually, none of those. Well, I’ll use “dope” with my tongue pressed firmly into the side of my cheek.


Check Out and Stay In

I’m sure you guys have heard this so many times that your eyes will start to glaze over once you catch the gist of my point here, but can I just re-emphasize how much running has helped me with life in general? Especially the tough workouts. THOSE are golden. The fricking mile repeats, the tempo runs, holy shit and hallelujah those…those are the gold mines of perseverance I tap into when life gets lifey.

The first few tempo miles are aiihight: My hair feels cute and swishy, my legs feel light, my gait feels coordinated and overall, I feel like I could kick everyone’s ass. And then. I get to the last half of the tempo miles: My hair is stuck in sweaty strands along my back and arms, my legs feel like tanker trucks, I keep staggering a bit to the right and overall, I feel like the world is kicking my ass.

When my body is crying out for me to hit the red button, I slip into a trance. My eyelids hang, my jaw relaxes (sometimes I even drool!), my head tilts a little to the right as if I’m on my way to sleep. My feet glide along the belt, my hands scoop the air as if to propel me forward and bit by bit, minute by minute, segment by segment, I get there and once again, I prove to myself that my will is stronger than my body.

When life feels like it’s kicking my ass, I don’t jump off, I don’t lose my shit, and I don’t press the red button. I just go hard within myself (TWSS…omg I’m incurable) and get through it bit by bit, minute by minute, segment by segment.

Here’s a super special selfie I took after my latest tempo treadmill run. You’ll notice that it’s not cute. I’m wearing a Christmas shirt, my makeup is both missing and smeared, and I actually even look a bit green. Because this is real life.

It’s hard to tell new runners to ignore their bodies, because doing so is usually a recipe for injury, but I know my body well enough to know the difference. Do you? How often do you ignore your body and push through?

Do you have any seasonal shirts that you wear year-round even when it’s not Christmas/Halloween, etc?

What kind of headphones/earbuds do you use?




Why do weird things make us so uncomfortable? Why do we gravitate to “normal” and “typical” and what society deems as beautiful and desirable?

Because it’s the animal in us, pushing toward survival and domination. To side with abnormal or atypical would go against those instincts.

Let that lie for a minute. I’ll come back.

Each choice we make is either driven by love, or it’s driven by fear. Love, at its purest form, feels extremely uncomfortable when it’s lived out in action. If it’s comfortable, it’s probably not love. Comfortable silence, euphoric intimacy, those are all the rewards that bloom from what we’ve struggled to plant, our wounds from weeding thorns, our bites from predators. That is love, and love is a verb. Comfort is a feeling.

Fear paralyzes us into non-action. Our backs don’t ache from planting seeds, our nail beds don’t get dirty, our skin doesn’t bleed, and the flowers don’t grow and do not bloom.

I’m coming back to our animal instincts now when I say that to love is to go against our drive toward survival and domination. For to survive and dominate means to be forever alone.

It’s not easy, but I have learned to push hard against my fear-driven instincts to curve toward normal and rather, when confronted with something weird, I open my mind and heart to it and let it plant what it needs to plant. If it’s love, it will grow.

Blue hair, crooked teeth, wheelchair, biggie boobs, too much lipstick, should she be ordering that? let’s order that too, everybody goes poo, I don’t touch doorknobs, he hugs too long, I wonder if he’s gay, I’ve got secrets too, she’s paying with cash, am I allowed to think he’s hot? I think he likes the barista, all this doesn’t even matter because we all live on a planet, A PLANET. We live on a little planet that spins around the sun. Blue hair. He likes the barista.

None of us really want to end up alone.


Week in Review

Well, we spent the majority of this week in the bathroom and for once it wasn’t because I had diarrhea, but because Callum started pooping on the potty. Hallelujah. I posted a couple of stories about it on Instagram but I’ll spare you guys from the photo proof here. Other than that, this is this week’s Week in Review hosted by my mothersisterwifefriend Meghan from Clean Eats Fast Feets, who kindly tagged me in this post:

We started out with gorgeous weather. As usual, Callum hijacked my phone and took pictures. This time, for once, he left the cat alone, maybe because he was so distracted by the fact that we finally have sunshine!

Jake got into see the specialist on Wednesday and he doesn’t need surgery! He got a new cast, which eased a lot of his discomfort. He chose a hot pink waterproof one! I forgot to take a picture.

I managed to do a few stroller miles with Callum, and Andrew and I got in a few evening runs together, which was so great. We signed up for a half marathon in Arizona at the beginning of April! We are SO excited about that and now Andrew is extra motivated to get in some runs.

Callum and I spent a lot of time together at the park and in the bathroom. He finally went poo on the potty. He turns three in a couple of weeks and I was just like, no. No more poo. Just no. So, that was a huge success. Katie and I took him to WalMart and he got to pick out a toy, and then we went out for dinner and ice cream (mostly ice cream). One day last week he was just super tired and asked to go to bed. It was 1:30 and he doesn’t nap anymore but I just felt like he needed it, so we snuggled and he went straight to sleep.

We paid the price later on that evening, though, when he refused to go to bed before 10pm. So, we went to Starbucks, got him a chocolate milk and a cake pop, and sipped on some coffees.

Lora and I ran 12 miles together on Saturday and we literally, and I mean literally talked the entire time. We both finished and didn’t even remember running. After that, Katie, Callum and I picked up Jake, grabbed some coffees and went to visit the pregnant and nursing cows at our local dairy farm. Random, I know. This was one of the babies:

We dropped Jake off and then headed to the park.

The good part about rain is that it washes away the snow and it makes mud puddles!

I took Callum to Fort Langley on Sunday, or rather, I should say that Callum took me. He lives and breathes for the trains there. There is one train that stands still; it’s an antique and so Callum loves climbing on it while we wait for the real train to come by. We spent a lot of time walking around, jumping in puddles, eating lunch (outside, because there were no tables available inside!) and pretty much freezing to death until finally one came by.

The weather sucked, but we had boots, hoods and umbrellas and just made the best of it. Clean boots are overrated. Mud is always a sign of a good time.

Sunday was also the day of the Fort Langley half marathon, a race I have done nearly every year since it first existed. I missed it this year, but that’s okay. I want to give a shout out to my friend Tammy, who was also the nurse who helped deliver Callum three years ago! She ran her first half marathon this morning. I am SO happy for her. WTG TAMMY!!!

I think that’s it.

Do any of you guys have an armpit sweating problem? You’ll know that you do if you’re hands and feet are freezing, your teeth are chattering, but your third top layer of clothing has armpit sweat marks.

Have you ever seen a cow give birth?

What are you drinking at Starbucks right now? Has anyone tried the smoky butterscotch latté?


Mileage Monday

So uhhh… I went a little over 50 miles this week.

Monday– It was a holiday here in BC, so I met Lora at 7am and we did 10 miles together. The cold wind kicked us in the face for the first 5 miles but then carried us back to our cars for the 5 back in. Later on, Andrew and I registered for a half marathon in Arizona on April 9th and booked flights for the 2 of us to go down there for 3 nights! We did a celebratory 5 miler once Callum went to bed.

Tuesday– I got up early and ran 5 slow miles outside, and it was gorgeous! I got to see the sun rise. Yippee! And then I ran 4 miles on the treadmill later on: .5 mile up, 3 miles at 6:40 min/miles (it felt tough today) and then .5 mile down.

Wednesday– I ran 6 miles on the treadmill in the morning, and then 5 miles with Andrew at night after Callum went to bed!

Thursday– I pushed Callum in the stroller in the rain for 5 miles and then, much to my surprise, he asked to go to sleep in the afternoon so while he napped, I ran 5 more miles on the treadmill! And yes, I’ve been keeping up with my strength work!

Friday– It was tough to keep it at 6 but I knew I’d be running long tomorrow morning with Lora. I think we’re planning for 12 or 13 miles.

Saturday– Just like the good ol’ days. Lora and I met at 7am and ran 12 miles at an 8 min/mile pace and literally talked the entire time. We finished the run and we barely remembered even running. The weather was overcast but not freezing and there was no wind. PERFECT.

Sunday– Thought about doing a 30 miler but ended up with 7. I might do more later.

Check out our upcoming weather forecast:

Tell me how sunny and warm your weather has been lately. Rub it in my face; I’ll close my eyes and hold my breath.





I just want to be brutally honest here because I’ve only got one life here on earth and there’s no point in tiptoeing around the real stuff. I think we’re moving toward authenticity, for sure, but it’s still filtered. We’ll post a photo or a story of us wearing no makeup or of our messy living room or piles of laundry but it’s still a snapshot that we chose. At the end of the day, we chose that shot.

But there’s some shit that we just don’t choose, and it’s ugly as sin.

I’ve dealt with some really difficult issues on my blog, and my courage and vulnerability has only been met with grace and kindness. Which, you know, is soothing and comfortable. But that’s not what I want. I want to feel pain and discomfort and I want you to feel it too and I want us to be able to stand in it. Stand right inside of it together, feeling all the feels, hands to our hearts, our smile wrinkles borrowed for sorrow, our mouths casting shadows on each other.

There is a time and a place and a sacred space to share the really deep-rooted stuff, for sure, and a running blog is hardly that time and place and sacred space, unless I make it one. Church is anywhere we choose it to be. And that’s what I want. I want to make this one in case you need it. Even if you show up to church here in your mind, stretching and writhing and groping and crying. If I reach you, if you reach me, it’s church. It’s the time and place and a sacred space.

I’ll go first. Being closely connected to someone with bipolar disorder is the single most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with in my lifetime, and I have not had a sheltered life. Sometimes, okay, oftentimes, I wish that it was me with bipolar disorder. I do. Because it’s a card I could play for bad behaviour. I could drop a zillion bucks on new clothes and fancy meals and weekends away in luxurious hotels and know that my loved ones will clean up the mess I made when I check back into real life. I’ve been “manicky” before, for sure, but when I am, I’m riddled with anxiety about it and my conscience hangs over the good times like a crucifix on a rear view mirror.

But then I don’t want it. I don’t. It’s like when Callum wakes me up at 2am and I can’t go back to sleep because I get this weird fake middle of the night hunger that will only be satisfied by four breaded hot wings, a Caramilk bar and a pint of milk. I want it, I do. But I don’t want it. I don’t.

I don’t want advice. And if you ever tell me your story, I won’t give you advice either. I just want to stand beside you and sip our church coffees together.





Maybe Steps

There is something about the marathon that forces a person into complete and utter awareness of self. While we become aware of just how strong we are, we also become aware of our weaknesses. While we get to see exactly what we’re capable of accomplishing, we also gain a sense of humility in feeling the pain of our limits.

Last weekend, my parents had a flood, and I’m not talking about a clogged toilet or a backed up sink; their line to the dishwasher blew and pumped water like a femoral artery out onto their main floor, down their staircase and through the light fixtures in the basement ceiling, drowning their possessions and capsizing their dreams.

The next day my sister Tracey went over there to help sort out the big stuff and as she began cleaning out the crawlspace, she found a letter I had written to my mom when I was a teenager. Besides the fact that it was “too wordy,” Tracey happened to find a few juicy bits between the boring parts. She said that the letter was a pledge of sorts, maybe even an apology note for being such a shitty daughter through my teen years. I wrote things like, “I’m sorry for doing all the awful things I did last year” and “I promise that I’m getting my crap together,” as well as, “I have a solid group of friends who love and support me, even if you don’t like them, they like me, and that’s what matters.” I even added to that note, “And yes, even Jon.” Ha ha ha! Classic.

Self awareness is the first step toward transformation, but that particular step seems to be a nice big comfy one because so many people get stuck there.

What do we do when we finish a marathon? We drink beer and eat burgers. And what do we talk about while we’re drinking beer and eating burgers? We talk about the race, but eventually we either talk about never running another one ever again (we always do!) or we talk about how we’re going to do the next one differently.

Let’s not get too comfy standing on that first step. Patch up the blisters, medicate the diarrhea, smooth some ointment onto the chaffed bits, and let’s wade in together toward the next stage of our lives.

Have you ever had a flood? Did anything important get wrecked?

Have you ever finished a race only to vow you’d never do it again? Did you?

My first marathon was in 1996, and my vow to never do another one lasted until I ran my second one in 2006.

When you want to make changes in your life, after you make lists and plans, do you get stuck on that step or do you lunge forward to take action? Do you know anyone who gets stuck on that step?

Do you know anyone who doesn’t even make it to the self awareness step?





I’ve adopted a theory that so far, has helped me make tough albeit healthy decisions and that theory is that each choice we make is either driven by love, or it’s driven by fear.

I used to roll my eyes at Valentine’s Day only because I used to hate being told what to do and when to do it and I loathed receiving courtesy love; even if it was legit, it didn’t matter because the fact that it was expressed on February 14th made it all quite suspect.

Then I realized that I was riding a big ‘ol party pooper boat out to Pathetic Sea and even worse than that realization was figuring out that I had made the conscious decision to get on that boat in the first place.

I told myself to fuck off and swim back to shore, and I did. And guess what. Courtesy love tastes a lot like a big ol’ box of Purdy’s chocolates and that’s not a bad way to spend a dark day in February, especially since the lover who gave them to me will wake up beside me on February 15th and love me straight through that dark day too.

I hope you had a kickass Valentine’s Day, you awesome sickos!




Week in Review

It’s a stat holiday here today in BC! It’s called “Family Day,” although a friend of mine, Kobie recently posted on Facebook, “I’m so glad we have a holiday on Monday so that we can spend more time with our families.” She was obviously being sarcastic because we had been stuck in the house with no school all week last week, and we were going bat-shit.

I wrote a bit about it here, and I don’t really have a lot more to add although the weekend certainly shaped up to be a little better despite the fact that I have zero photo proof, because for one to take photos one must have enough physical and mental energy to lift up one’s arm and snap pictures, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Today’s Week in Review is hosted by my friend Meghan from Clean Eats Fast Feets, who, contrary to my unwillingness to take photo documentation of our goings on, took a zillion pictures of her entire week and weekend which are all quite fascinating and splendid.

Early Saturday morning, after I drove Jake to work, I headed out for a 12 mile run, the longest run I’ve done in quite a while and it went amazingly well. We watched Kylah’s basketball game and they won the districts, and now the provincials are coming up on Wednesday!

Andrew had a listing appointment at 10am Sunday morning and once he got home we packed up the van with Callum and all of his schtuff and headed across the line. Luckily, Callum fell asleep and so we had a rather peaceful drive down to Whidbey Island. We brought snacks, beach chairs and sand toys and enjoyed the warm sun for once in a very long time!

We found ourselves smack dab in the middle of a protest!

Then we drove down to the Red Lobster for dinner. The wait was huge because of the BC holiday; I guess we weren’t the only Canadians with a hankering for cheap crab. Then we hit up Starbucks for americanos (I got mine half-caffeine with a pump of mocha syrup) and then made the trip back home with a short stopover at Target.

What do you usually buy at Target?

Do you guys have protests every weekend?

Anyone else have a holiday designated as “Family Day?”